


Sunday's Confession

by Brianneinlove



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bi Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, Gay Male Character, Gay Steve Rogers, Happy Ending, How do i tag this?!, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Steve Rogers, Lies, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Top Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-01-06 12:52:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12211677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brianneinlove/pseuds/Brianneinlove
Summary: “Sorry didn’t mean to wake you, James is sleeping and I… I um. Sorry I didn’t know there was anyone here.” She looked embarrassed and worse she ran into him as he was turning the knob on Bucky’s door. There was no where he could say he was going anywhere other than into Bucky’s room.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I want to say thank you for an amazing beta reader Natfakrbeaut. They are amazing and I cannot say Thank You enough. There will be sex eventually I am not sure how long this will get. Enjoy!

Steve got up Sunday morning as usual the sun just starting to peek into his bedroom window. He hated and loved Sundays. Hated that Bucky always went out Saturday night dancing and skirt chasing. Though Steve was always invited, he never went. It gave him some time to draw or read and relax. Well that’s what he told Bucky every Saturday anyhow. In reality, he could not stand seeing Bucky pawing at woman and kissin’ on them like he had no one special. This meant a fitful night sleep for Steve without Bucky and he was always worn out Sunday morning. The whole mess led to why he loved Sunday mornings. He got Bucky all to himself on Sundays; no work, or other people just him and his guy.

This Sunday though an odd thing happened, as Steve left his small bedroom to pad down to the larger bedroom the boys shared; he ran face first in to a dame!

“Oh!” she squeaked as she saw him standing with his hand reaching for the knob to Bucky’s room. 

“Sorry didn’t mean to wake you, James is sleeping and I… I um. Sorry I didn’t know there was anyone here.” She looked embarrassed and worse she ran into him as he was turning the knob on Bucky’s door. There was no where he could say he was going anywhere other than into Bucky’s room

“Uh…umm yeah we got to get up for church anyhow. Sorry didn’t mean to intrude.” He turned beet red and looked at the floor.

“He forgets to set his alarm and normally there ain’t no one in his room so I just. Um yell at him to get his ass up.” Steve feels the bile rising in his throat he needs to keep his head till she is gone. They had a fucking deal no one comes back to their place! Steve any other night would sleep in Bucky’s bed but Sunday nights the smell of the dance hall tends to cling to Bucky and aggravate his breathing. 

She’s holding her stockings, garter and shoes. “Well I gotta go anyhow I am going to be late for work.” She smiles again and heads to the door fast and it closes with a snick.

Steve just stands there not sure what to do. He lets the feelings wash over him, the anger and betrayal. They agreed god danm it, he did not get jealous of the Bucky’s skirt chasing because they agreed this was their place. Bucky likes dames and fellas that was al well and good, worse if one of them weren’t with a girl they could be looked at as inverts, queers. They agreed it would be Bucky for obvious reasons.

Though Steve did not give a fuck what people thought about him, Bucky had a reputation to uphold and work would dry up if he was labeled queer. So, Bucky went out Saturday nights and drank and smoked and enjoyed the ladies, but he swore he did not have sex with the girls, dancing and kissing and at most some necking. Never full on sex and never ever did they come back to the apartment till now.

Steve felt the tears roll down his face, angry and heart broken he turned on his heel and went back to his own room. Bucky had lied to him, Steve trusted him, told him he loved him and Bucky lied. How many people had there been? Every week? Steve had believeing that he was nothing more than a sure thing for Bucky, not the steady love Bucky had said to him. He curled up in the bed and let the pain eat at him until he couldn’t take it anymore.

He stormed down the hall past Bucky’s room and started some breakfast, eggs and some toast. Bucky woke sometime in the middle of his kitchen adventures and walked sheepishly in the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Morning.” He approached Steve to pull him into a hug when Steve dodged his grab.

“Don’t!” was all he said, and he felt the pain in his chest throb harder; he wanted to be held to have Bucky tell him it was all a mistake and he was sorry. Steve was not going to let that happen. He may be little and Bucky was important to him but so were Steve’s feelings. He was not going to let anyone walk on him. Not even Bucky. He took out the last bits of toast and did not say anything else.

“Ok… babe, what’s wrong?” Bucky asked getting out the table settings and setting the table.

“How many times Buck did you… go all the way with ‘em? And don’t lie to me I know better!” He had his back to Bucky. He might just deck him if he looks at him. 

“Is this about Anne Marie being over here last night?” Bucky sighed. It was not an answer and Steve knew it was a dodge. 

“She left holding her shoes, and her garter. Tell me you did not fuck her Bucky Barnes and I will call you the liar you are and leave now. You got one shot here be honest with me. How many times?” Steve gritted out and then turned to look at him. He was raging mad and Bucky knew this would not end well if he tried that again.

“She was the third.” He looked deflated to be honest Bucky was not sure what in the hell happened last night. “I did not want to bring her back here but she made it an issue at the hall, and I offered to walk her home after we left but she kept at it. Said people talk about how good I am in the sack and I was a good kisser, and I had too much to drink to get home safe. I… Steve I’m sorry. Honest I am.” He felt defeated he never meant to be a liar to Steve. 

“Bucky do I mean anything to you? Don’t you trust me? Why didn’t you just tell me? I get it we gotta be careful but we never lie to each other! I thought we were more than passin’ time with each other” Steve was almost yelling. But he flopped down in the chair at the table and set his head in his hands as his chest tightened.

“I love you, I do but I gotta be able to trust you Bucky. I gotta know there are lines you don’t cross no matter what. I thought I knew that. I thought after all we been though it was you and me we were solid as they come. Buck, I can’t be your sure thing anymore’ it’s got to mean more than that to you. ‘Cause it does to me.” He looked up with a grief-stricken face as he saw Bucky’s eyes go wide. He knew what he meant to Bucky when he looked at Bucky just now. He just needed to see it more than Bucky’s actions were showing.

“Steve its not like that I swear it… they were nothing I just couldn’t figure a way out of it. I let it get too far! It won’t happen again come on Stevie you can’t just leave me! I… I mean you just can’t. It’s you and me you’re where my heart is you gotta know that! You’re my fella!” Bucky was almost frantic about this he slid off his chair and was kneeling near where Steve was sitting he reached up and grabbed his hand. 

“Please Stevie don’t do this!” He held tight to Steve’s hand Bucky was not letting go without a fight.

“Bucky, I can’t take the lies, you had a woman in our bed! OUR BED!” Steve hollered and did not give a damn who heard him. “I ran into here sneaking out of OUR BED! I can’t even look at that room and not see her and your lies!” He pulled his hand away and walked to his bedroom and closed the door leaving Bucky sitting on the floor of the kitchen unsure how this would work out or if he had lost the only thing that ever mattered to him. 

“Fuck how could I have screwed this up so badly.” He whispered to himself as he got to his feet and headed for their shared room. He got up and got his shower kit and headed to the bathroom. He did not want to smell like her perfume or beer anymore. It was a small step to cleaning this mess up.

Half an hour later after he got back from the shower he saw Steve sitting on the couch with a bag at his feet. He knew what this was, Steve was leaving. He had pushed too far this time. He knew one-day Steve would see what he really was, that he was not a good guy. It did not hurt any less. 

“Steve, please I’m beggin’ ya don’t. I can fix this we can fix this.”

“I need some time Bucky.” He was dressed and his eyes were still red rimmed. “I left the few dollars for the end of the months rent so you would not have to pay it alone. Don’t worry about me I have a few sign painting jobs lined up and some other artwork in the pipes.”

Bucky did not move. He was rooted to the floor. His best friend, his lover, was leaving and taking all that he loved in this world short of his family with him. “Steve, please I know I don’t say it but I love you, don’t leave. We can stop the sex and stuff if you want but this is your home too. Please stay.”

“I can’t I… I don’t want to hate you but if I stay here, if I wallow in it here in this place.. I will. If you really love me give me this, don’t come lookin’ or follow me and I will promise to keep safe. If I can get over this I will be back. Ok?” He stood up and walked to the door where Bucky had just come in. 

Bucky stepped in front of the door. “Two weeks Steve. I’ll give ya two weeks and then please come back to at least to talk this out. You are my best friend and I love you. I’ll respect your wishes but two weeks and come back and talk. If you can’t forgive me I get it, but come home and let me know your ok.” He lifted his hand and tucked Steve’s bangs behind his ear and ran a finger down his face. “You got no idea what you mean to me Steve, and what I would do to protect it. Two weeks ok?”

Steve sighed and looked at Bucky in the face. “Ok I’ll be back in two weeks to talk, no promises after though. You were everything I wanted Bucky, I just wish that had been enough.” He kissed Bucky on the cheek and side stepped around him and he was gone.

Bucky hit the floor hard on his knees and cried for the first time in so many years he couldn’t even recall last time. He had no one to hide it from now, nothing he had to worry about. He stayed there on the floor for god knows how long trying to figure out how and why this went so fucking wrong. 

He got up and headed to bedroom he and Steve shared and got dressed. Normally at this point in his Sunday he would be naked as the day he was born; balls deep in Steve or have Steve balls deep in him. Now, he just looked at the empty bed and rumpled sheets and tried to recall the night before. How many drinks did he have? He told Steve he knew what happened but things were not really that clear in his head. He just didn’t want Steve to worry he had been drinking too much. He needed to talk to Ann. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Steve left the small apartment and headed to his and Bucky’s other friend’s place. Donavan was a known invert and had friends in the queer community. The whole of Brooklyn thought Steve was queer anyhow so being seen here was no trouble for him; he just hopped it was ok with Donavan. He knocked softly and smiled sheepishly when Donavan answered.

“Hey Steve! Come on in tell me what happened!” It must have been how Steve looked because Donavan did not even think twice about letting him in. He just wrapped Steve in a warm hug and smoothed the tear tracks off his face. “Come on doll tell me what the big lug did now.”

“He brought a girl home!” Steve huffed and then sniffed in deep though his nose. “I ran into her in the hallway as I was headed into his room! I mean fuck we were almost caught and he’s been fuckin’ ‘em too!” Now that he started talking he could not stop himself.

“Steve honey you know there’s gotta be a reason. That man thinks you hung the stars and shit. He would never cheat!” Donavan got him a drink of whiskey and some tea. “But I know how hard it is being a fella with a fella who has to play it normal. Here drink this and then the tea it will help your nerves.” Steve did not even ask just swallowed it down and took the tea glass.

“I know you guys seemed to have it worked out his man whoring as it were. Now what? What’s the plan for you are you leaving him forever or just a break?”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t mind putting me up for a few nights. I don’t got much but I can pay something. He asked me to come back and talk in 2 weeks. I'm not sure it will matter; Donny I love him so much its stupid and I get it he isn’t like me or you. He has always been into the girls too, but like you said he tells me how he feels and that ‘m his guy.” The words where rushed and high pitched then sounded more muted “Then he just goes and sticks it in where ever he wants and worst lies about it! Can’t he just make up his mind?” This set Steve crying again.

“Aw Stevie baby, you know you can stay here long as you need to, but gotta warn you; my fella is over a few nights a week and we can be very loud.” He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows. Trying to pick up Steve’s sprit “Best part of this building is most of us are inverts, as polite company calls us, so’s the owner, he turns a blind eye. Davie has his self a fine-looking fairy on the 4th floor so no one really cares is what I am saying. You ok with that it’s not going to bother you?”

“I don’t mind, your doin’ me a solid so can’t really be choosy.” Steve and Donavan sat quietly after that; chattered about Donny’s life and his fella. Sadly, his man is married and had a family, not sadly he was a well-off man, so Donny was cared taken care of. He had even met the man’s wife. Donny was ok being a side guy long as he wasn’t breaking up a home. 

His guy’s wife was ok with her husband being a closet queer, as long as it never came near their home and she did not have to hear about it ever again. She liked the money and prestige that came from her husband’s company. It was a good arrangement. Steve at first thought it was trash to keep Donny on the side like that. In the end Donavan told him it was his choice, and though he loved Steve like a brother, butt out.

“Have you eaten?” Donny asked, “I know an amazing place we could do dinner and a bar tonight its new… umm Nuevo something! It’s a new fairy bar in the Bronx I would love to check out.” Bars were not Steves thing but he needed a distraction from things, and he wanted some time out of his head. He agreed to go as long as Donavan kept it as low key as he could. 

“Sure, but I ain’t a fairy I'm going in men’s clothes ok?” Steve gave no fucks about if you were or were not like that; he just did not get being that way. The way he saw it he was a man who liked men. It would be easier if he was a man who like woman, so it was confusing to be a man who like men when those men dressed like woman.

“With how you look baby you could pass as a woman no one would know. But I get it. Now come here lay your head down and take a nap I am not going anywhere with you looking like that much of a mess.” He knew what Donavan meant he was all snuff nosed and red eyed. He finished his tea and laid his head on Donny’s lap and passed out. He never heard the door open and never saw David come in and smile at his guy.

“Shhh love we have a guest for a few days.” Donny whispered petting at Steve. “He and his guy had a few words and he just needs some space from him.” Donavan wasn’t sure if David knew Bucky was with Steve so he didn’t want to out him. David and James worked at the same company just in very different roles.

“That’s Barnes’ boy!” David said in reply slipping his shoes off and headed to the couch for a kiss.

Donavan relayed what he knew of the story, and David said “Man Barnes is going to be a wreck tomorrow at work.”

“Yeah well he should learn not to lie to his lover, poor thing.” He continued running his hands over Steve’s head and shoulders “He only wants James you know how it is. He’s like me, all dick, might run screamin’ if he saw lady parts! All James can seem to do is chase skirts to keep up his image.” David sat on the floor in front of Donovan and smiled.

“I know how James feels though; I hate hiding us, and Trish and I still have to have relations once and a while.” He looks Steve over. He looks so peaceful sleeping. David can see what Bucky sees in Steve. He is the perfect little punk. All delicate angles and still so very much a man. “Steve has to know its for his own good, too don’t he?”

“Yes, he knows but James has been lying about how far he is going with his skirts. I know Trish and you fuck and she knows about me too so no harm done.” He smiles at David knowing that the man at his feet loves him with every part of him he is able. “I don’t care who knows about us here and I get all of this and you so what do I care. Steve is more fragile and he has lost so much already, from his health to his ma and pa.” There was a protective streak a mile wide in Donny and David knew it. If you were one of Donny’s people he would call down the wrath of hell to protect you. He was a lot like Bucky in that aspect. 

“James better fix this or I will break his dog ugly face. Now come give me some sugar and rub my feet!” He smiled at his fella and they kissed softly. Then David turned his back to the couch and rubbed his guys feet for him as Steve slept in his lap.

“You know that man in your lap is far from fragile don’t you doll?” David said off handedly.

“Hush you know what I mean.” Donny wiggled his toes. He meant it in how Steve feels about being queer how he railed about it being unfair that it was a crime to love who you loved. It is harder for some people more than others. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky was not doing as well as Steve, unfortunately. He was a bit lost as to what to do now. He laid down on the bed when the smell of the woman’s perfume hit him. It made him want to vomit. He knew the girl he had been flirting and dancing with the night before was a god time girl. Normally Bucky tried to stay too clear of the easy girls; it was harder to put them off sex wise and he really wasn’t looking for that. He meant what he told Steve, there were only 3 times he could not avoid sex without tossing suspicion on himself. It had to be enough to fool people but not so much as he betrayed Steve. That meant most easy girls were out. 

The issue this weekend was he had a grueling day, Friday at work and wanted to let loose a bit. He begged Steve to go out with him. He always did but the punk declined as always. So, Bucky knew he may have had a few too many beers, and a few too many shots, but he didn’t think it was so much that he would black out! Worse being so drunk that bringing a dame here would sound like a good idea.

He would never have offered that as an option to any girl; so how the hell did they end up in his bed? The few times it went farther then a good night kiss it was always her place or back of her car. Never home, never near Steve! Bucky felt his stomach lurch at the thought of Steve running into Ann Marie this morning and from the hang over he was still nursing.

Bucky’s head was still fuzzy with the details of last night, he needed to find out what happened. He knew that Ann Marie worked at the seamstress shop near his place so he got dressed and headed her way. He had to know what the hell they had done, how the holy hell she ended up at his place in his bed and if she got mad because he forgot! Oh well. 

The bell on the shop door rang as he came in and she smiled at him. “Well Bucky Barnes as I live and breathe, that little squirt managed to get you up in time for mass after all?” She seemed pleasant and kind to him even thought they were alone in the front of the shop.

“Yeah Steve is more determined then he looks. However, I am here for another reason.” He winked and she blushed. 

“I am at work sir but if you want to take me out later I may make some time for you.” She grinned. His face fell a bit this is not what he needed… Shit. It was not what Bucky meant. He was so off his mark. He wanted to try to smooth it out of her not take her home again.

“Not tonight doll face I'm still worn out from last night you were too good to me!” He plastered on his ‘charm them out of their panties’ face, and kept talking “How are you feelin’?”

 

“Honestly?” She asked as she leaned over the counter at him and whispered “Let down.” She pouted a fake pout. “See I heard all these tall tales about the infamous Bucky Barnes, and that you could wow the skirt off the queen herself, and then nothing! I mean maybe it was whiskey dick and maybe not, but that was some serious melodrama you had going there!” 

“Huh?” Now he was really lost. Let down? Nothing? What was this girl going on about? His room smelled of sex when he woke up and Steve threw a fit said she was half dressed leaving so they had to have done it. Why is she acting like she did not get some? “Doll what are you talkin’ about?”

“You were so drunk when we left the dance hall you could not get your sorry self-home alone. I had to half carry you up the steps of your place.” She pointed a finger at him and scowled. “I got you home and into bed then you started hollering for Steve to come to bed! “ 

Oh fuck no… No there is no way he outed them to her. She must have seen the worry all over his face when she smiled again. 

“Don’t worry Bucky I get it really I do and I won’t tell no one. I like girls now and then as well. I know how it feels when your heart wants what it can’t have.” She blushed now and continued “You not letting me up to leave was new, so I rolled over and kissed you and you seemed to get with the program. After some convincing on my part we got some fun but not enough to go all the way mind you. It was ok at best. You owe me a second go around by the way!” 

He had the sense to blush now “Umm I am sorry Ann I can’t do that with you. I umm…” He didn’t want to deny Steve to her but he could not tell her either. It was not safe. Just last week two queers where killed near the docks for holding hands! Steve would never survive without Bucky long term.

“You could make it up to me!” She frowned as his lack of interest.

“Umm well you see our little thing last night made some things come to a head at my place. Steve left and…. I am not in a good place. Not in the mood for dancin’.” He did not care if she guessed but he could not risk being seen with here after last night.

“What do you mean came to a head? You know what never mind I don’t want to know, just come with me to the Nuevo Gold and I will tell Steve what really happened.” She smiled at him. “Well I will tell him nothing too sorted happened.”

“You know I can’t go there Ann Marie that’s a queer bar. Not my scene even if I were queer I couldn’t risk going. That is just as good as postin’ a sign saying as much.” He swallowed hard he needed to back peddle this and fast before admitting his desires. “And what really happened?”

“Just come with me James we can go from my place and no one’s gotta know where we are going. There is a normal bar on the corner that connects to it. As for what really happened come with me and I will tell you too.” She was a smart cookie for sure and she had Bucky’s number.

“Fine, 9:30 I’ll see you at your place, but I can’t promise I’ll be good company.” It will be fine Steve does not need to know he was out on a work night and with Ann. It’s one last secret then he is done.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She knocked but it most have been the wrong knock because the bouncer opened the door and stood in the door way. “Can I help you guys?” She frowned and looked at Bucky. “I think you might be lost.” Bucky saw what the bouncer saw and smiled. They looked like a normal couple on a date. One guy and one gal.
> 
> “Nope…” he popped the ‘p’ and looked the handsome if not very stacked bouncer up and down and grinned a lust filled grin. ‘ …‘m meeting my date here and her girl is runnin’ late is all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out. I have been working more hours and that is not going to change. My beta reader is the most awesome in the whole world Natfakrbeaut Thank you as always!
> 
> Please enjoy!

It was later that same night that the screaming woke Steve. Well that wasn’t fair assessment of what he heard. What he heard sounded like someone dying by evisceration. It was in fact just Donny and David in their private room doing well…not murdering each other. Donavan had warned him that they were loud but holy hell that was excessive. Steve thought maybe it was too much and they were being hurt for a second, that he might want to check on them. It’s possible David said something dumb and Donavan lost his shit and killed the old fool. Steve headed to the door.

“Oh baby there…harder yeah pull… Fuck. Oh…oh Fuck!”

‘Yeah not going near that door’ Steve thought instead and just turned on his heel and walked away; he had had enough of bedroom surprises today thank you very much. It was bad enough he had to hear it and that was just not something he ever wanted to see. Donny like them big and hairy. Steve shuttered at the thought of David naked. 

He headed into the bathroom and got cleaned up for dinner. Steve really did not have the money to be going out, but he needed a distraction. He also knew it was easier on Donavan and David if a third person joined them anyhow so Steve told himself he was just helping friends who were helping him. Steve being there kept people from talking about why the two men were alone, at a fancy restaurant, on what looked like a date. Steve added a business like feel too it. Three men could dine in the evening and it may look like a late-night business meeting or after work meal of bachelors before hitting a bar. Even if technically David was miles from home and slumming it, he needed to protect himself from gossip. Steve was glad to help them any way he could.

When he left the bathroom, Steve noted the noise had died down and found David in the living room getting his shoes on.

“Hey Steve, sorry about the…” Steve waived him off. David did not have anything to be sorry for this was his and Donny’s place. 

“Dining out with us tonight?” David asked catching the drift.

“Yeah Donny asked if I would go with him. I was not sure if you could join us for the night when he asked but when I woke up and you were here…” Steve smiled as he watched David get ready. He was babbling. “So yeah I’ll be going if that’s still ok?” 

“I am going to dinner with you two but home after, Trish has a family thing planned for the morning that I can’t get out of. And Steve you are always welcome here.” He smiled at Steve and after getting his coat on hugged Steve firmly. “I could talk to Barnes for you if you want? Set his ass right about how to juggle this and keeping thing on the level to the outside teach him some tricks to help?” 

“Thanks David, I would like that but I think in the end it won’t help much. Bucky and I are not going to make it forever I fear. You lucked out with Trish and well the company. You can afford to help Donny pay bills and keep him here, even better is she don’t mind. Bucky will have to marry someday and that will come with… well things I don’t want to think about right now.” Steve sighed he always knew one day he would lose Bucky but just not this soon. He looked up at David forced a smile to hide the hurt. “How are Trish and the kids?” 

“They’re good, she’s seeing the new house boy and they are happy so we all get what we want. Kids are getting huge. You and Donny should come by and see them. I could hire you to paint their portrait?” He let Steve go and smiled as Donavan came into the room. 

“I would like to come to the house but you know how Trish gets. She needs to be told well in advance so there are no awkward questions from neighbors of visitors. It has been a while for sure and it would help you out Steve. Maybe in a few weeks to give you some time to prep Trish.” Donavan was wearing a sleek black suit and single red rose in his lapel. 

“I can take care of myself I don’t take handouts!” Steve got prickly at the thought of being cared for. It was one of the biggest fights him and Bucky had. “You know that guys! I am able to find my own work”

“Steve!” David raised his voice a bit “It ain’t a handout if you’re doing work for me! I’m sure Trish would love to have a big portrait done of the family and I have seen your work. You are a gifted artist. Also, if your there then it won’t look as odd for Donny to come with. He could be your assistant.” David smiled and looked over to Donavan waggled his eyebrows and Donny lost it laughing.

Steve calmed down a bit “Sorry guys I know ‘m not great company right now. Forgive me please I would be honored to come paint for you David, but tonight are you sure you want me around?”

Donavan grabbed Steve and pulled him in close “Yeah sugar we want you with us. I know this will blow over soon but till then you are mine to keep hold of! Right David?” Steve blushed he knew what Donny meant but it felt more intimate than it was meant to be. 

“Yeah baby as long as you don’t go getting ideas of leaving me!” David did a mock stern face. Steve thinks it was meant to be a worried look but it was so far off it made Steve snort a laugh.

“Oh, baby you know I like them big, strong and covered in hair. No offense Stevie but punks ain’t my thing.” Donny let Steve go and they got their coats and hats on.

“Oh, so you like apes huh?” David joked. “And are you calling me an ape man?” he grabbed Donavan by the neck hard and bit him in a mock monkey bite. This caused a riotous laugh from Steve and a fake gasp from Donny as he ran away from David who gave chase pretending to be an ape.

As they are calming down from Donavan’s protesting and David making monkey sounds. Steve smirks and says “Hey wait! Who says I'm the punk with Bucky?” Steve sounded offended at the implication, and had his back to them so they could not see the smile at his lips, as they walked to David’s car. He put a bit of patented SGR offended sound in his voice as he smiled.

“Thing small as you… I just assumed.” Donny stuttered and backpaddled a bit. “I… uh… Just never saw Bucky on the bottom is all. Sorry Steve I didn’t mean to assume.” Steve laughed a real loud and throaty laugh.

“Donny that boy loves to bottom but your right normally it’s me. Relax I'm only giving you shit!” They headed to dinner and talked and laughed. At dinner the conversation turned more to art and Steve’s work. They kept it safe topics for the restaurant. They might be in the Queerest neighborhood in all of New York but still was not the safest. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Bucky…We are going to be late!” Ann called from the living room she had been waiting forever it felt like. She started tapping he foot and looked at her watch. “Barnes get your ass out here! Come on!” 

“I don’t want to go! I am just going to stay in!” He hollered from the bathroom. He could not get his hair right and Steve was not here to fix it! He felt lost, and didn’t want to do this! He decided if he went he was not going to lie to Steve about it. He was going to tell him the truth about Ann and that they’re just friends. That he needed a distraction and she they went dutch to the club. 

“Bucky come on I am sure it fine. Move it already!” Ann Marie was walking to the bathroom with Bucky’s coat in hand to try and hurry him up. He was going if she had to drag his ass by his ear! She had already got dressed up and to hell if she was missing a night out. Bucky slumped out of the bathroom and to where she was standing. He looked Good as usual except the frown he was sporting. “Oh cut it out a few drinks and you will be fine.” 

“You are one pushy cookie you know that Ann?” He took his coat for her and slid it on and walked to the front door. They had planned to leave from her place, then planned to meet at the bar, Nuevo was attached to but Bucky kept backing out. So she walked right to his place and threatened to drag him out by the dick if he did not get a move on. He almost didn’t let her in but in the end he just opened the door and started getting ready. 

“You are not even supposed to be here! If Steve finds out you were here again he is going to cut my unmentionables off!” He states as he locks the door behind them.

She scoffed at him and reminded him that his “unmentionables” were recently in her month so he could can it.

“Let’s get this over with, so we are clear I am not kissing, holding or doin’ anything else with you at this club. I am going as a friend and when this is over you tell Steve the truth! That we did not fuck or anything other than mouths and hands!” Buck shook his finger at her.

“You got it. I'm not going to look at fella’s anyhow, last one I picked up left a sour taste in my mouth.” She winked at him and they headed out the door of his place.

“Sounds like a jerk.” He played along. “why would you have gone anywhere near him?”

“He was good lookin’.” She joked and they headed to the train platform to get to the club.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
David and Donny kissed their good byes quickly at the bar outside of Nuevo.   
“You gotta look out for him the fairies will eat him alive.” David says to Donavan when they break the kiss. “I can’t afford to have Barnes offing himself over this little brat’s death ok!”

Steve wanted to take offense but David was just playing around and he knew it was Steve who would be doing the ‘lookin’ out’ for. Donny liked to drink and was known to have too many from time to time.

“Will do love now get home. I don’t want Trish coming here looking for her missing meal ticket.” Donavan and Trish got on well but there were parts of Donny that were bitter that he did not get David to himself all the time.  
.   
“Hey behave! I know your testy babe but it’s for everyone’s good and you know it.” David kissed him and drove off.

“Sorry Donny.” Was all Steve said as they headed into the bar. “I feel kind of bad I at least got Bucky to myself at night.”

“This is true but I don’t worry where David’s heart is. He loves me, she knows it and I know it. Now come on we’re going to have some fun. Dance with a fairy or two and have some drinks!” he waggled his eye brows at Steve. “Might even get you some variety in life!”

“Donny, I don’t want Variety I just want…” Steve was slack jawed as the entered the first bar. It was posh and there were so few people in it. It was still early in the night but this place should have more people in it if what Donny had told Steve was to be believed. “Um Donny you sure we are in the right place?”

“Yep.” he made a kiss face with his ‘p’ and smiled at the waitress. “I need a booth for two and some privacy.” the woman smiles at for a second Steve wondered if she was really a he? She was taller then most woman and had a square jaw. Her hair was perfect, the dress she was wearing was a deep blue and cream lace. Her face was perfectly made up. Her arms were a bit more muscled then most ladies though. 

“Right this way sir.” She walked them to the back room of the bar into a booth “Enjoy the night boys”

“We will and if you see Cassie tell her we are waiting here please.” Donavan smiled at Steve as they waited.

“I will let her know.” The waitress replied. This was a very forced conversation it felt mechanical. 

“I'm feeling a bit odd Donny what are we doing who the hell is Cassie?” Steve choked as the floor length curtains were drawn and then the whole of the booth moved, and suddenly they were in a darkened hallway. Steve will, with his dying breath, swear he did not squeal as the booth swiveled and moved them!

“Shall we honey?” Was all Donavan said as he slid out of the booth. This was an interior hallway that led to a door with a small window in it. Donny walked to the door and knocked. 3 rap then 2 than 3 and the door opened.

“This was an old speakeasy in the day, so it was easy for the owner to turn it into a safe haven for the scene.” The bouncer was a tall dark-haired man who Donny smiled at and strode past confidently. He eyed Steve like he was looking at dinner and winked. 

“So how do you find out about this place?” Steve asked as they checked their coats.

“David knows the owner, he banks with the firm,” Donny smiled “and well as most people assume they both seemed to know about each other’s dark secret.” 

“Red!” Donny yelled at one of the pretty ladies. The woman turned and smiled wide. She was tall with a large mountain of thick red curls dripping from her head. Bright red lips and pale skin with a champagne colored gown that was split to her hip. On her feet were very tall shoes that matched her dress. She was covered in jewelry and holding a cigarette. 

This was most certainly not a woman however, but a man dressed as one! She looked and acted like a lady though and if Steve was honest she looked amazing. Steve understood that no matter what they may look like, if the person dressed like a lady, here you treat her like one and vise versa. 

“Have you met my friend Steve?” Steve smiled up at her and yep that was a five o’clock shadow under that very well done make up. She had to be pushing 6’5 in those heels. Her smile was warm and inviting and she looked down at Steve sizing him up. There was always a worry when meeting new people like this you never knew who was a rat and who would start a fight. Steve saw the flicker of it for a second before it passed and she put her grin back on. 

“Donny! Now who is this handsome man you dragged into my club?” She did not sound like a lady but Steve knew better than to be rude. She offered him her hand and Steve kissed the back of it in an old fashion greeting. If Steve was going to be here with friends he was going to act the part. “Cassie, nice to meet you Steve. I hope you have a good night here with us.” she continued.

“Nice to meet you too Ma’am you have an amazing place here! Thank you!” Steve followed as Donny left to find a table. 

From over her shoulder Cassie called “One as cute as you please call me Cassie and if you need anything at all tonight you let me know. You’re so sweet lookin’ I could eat you up!”

Steve blushed and tucked himself into Donny’s side. This place was all glitter and glam and Steve was feeling a bit outa place. He knew what he looked like so he was going to play to the nines tonight. 

“Thank you and I might take you up on that offer” Steve hollered back and quickly blushed like he had never thought to say that out loud. He was after all a little shit and Donavan knew better.

The deep blue booths were soft and the tables where covered in a mirror tops. All the glasses were crystal cut as were the ashtrays. There were champagne flutes everywhere and men dancing with men, woman who looked like men, dressed in fancy suits, and short hair, and men dressed like ladies in long gowns and glittering jewels. It was amazing to just take in all the contrast of color and texture. The smell of good booze and not cheap smokes made Steve bounce with the whole of it. 

All the room was sharp angles and brass fixtures. Steve loved the art deco aesthetic of it. There was a band playing some jazz on the main stage and dance floor in front of it was filled to the brim. The smoke was thick in the room but not so bad as to keep Steve from breathing. People were all smiles and chatter.

“You going to dance Donny?” Steve looked to the floor. God, he missed watching Bucky dance. The few times he did venture out with his guy was to watch his body move. Bucky was all fluid movement and power swinging the lady around. 

Remembering was getting Steve hard just thinking about how Bucky would swing his sweaty arm around him and dragging him to the bar to get a drink. Now the thought of dancing with Bucky that way here, well, it was making Steve sweaty and out of breath. 

“Hey Steve where are you at man?” Donny snapped his fingers to get Steve out of his memory. “I said yeah after a drink.” Donavan smiled at him. “You’re daydreaming about Barnes again huh?” 

“Yeah, I'm sorry Donny I want to be better company really I just miss his dumb ass.” Donny nodded then smiled he understood there were days when David could not get away and Donny missed him. “These might pick you up; we have incoming, so smile big cause they are very lovely to look at.”

As Donny said it Steve saw a couple of very well-dressed men, one a head taller than the other head to the table they were sitting at.  
“May we join you fellas?” The taller dark-haired man asked. He had deep tan skin and hair pulled back into a a small tail at his neck. The man remined Steve of Bucky when he was dressed to go out. Steve blushed and ducked his head. The other was a redhaired man he was pale and covered in freckles. He seemed shy, he kept looking at the ground then back to the two men seated at the table. He was almost 6 inches shorter than the brunet.

“Sure.” Steve smiled sweetly and even scooted closer to the dark haired man, as Donny looked at him slack jawed. Taking note of Donny’s face doing the thing he does after he had too many, Steve asked him with a bit of concern “You ok?” 

“Yeah sorry Stevie just taken back is all…” Donavan expected Steve to be more reserved but Steve said to hell with that. Steve gave himself two weeks to sort out his feelings for Bucky and he was going to live in those weeks. He was not dead and right now he was not taken so why the hell not.

“I'm Danny and this is Oliver, can we offer you handsome men a drink?” He extended his hand to Steve who shook it and nodded. 

“What would you like?” Danny asked letting go of Steve’s hand.

“Bourbon neat please.” Steve asked though his lashes. He knew how he looked to these guys. He was a little, delicate, sweet looking, punk who would be easy to play with. He kind of liked the idea of playing up that part. However, part of him was screaming remember that you love Bucky. ‘if he can do it so can I’ he tromped down on his worry and petted Danny’s forearm.

“Oliver can you get a neat bourbon for Steve and you honey what are you having?” He turned to look at Donny. The smile was just as warm for Donny but Steve felt Danny’s hand slide his own over the top of his in a fond gesture.

“Oh darlin’ I'm having more than you can afford I'm afraid.” It was kind of rude but honest. Last time there was a bill at a bar where Donavan was drinking it was almost 40 dollars. “Anyhow sorry to say I am a taken fella.”

Danny looked between the two and almost pouted and pulled his hand away from Steve. Steve honest to god huffed. “Oh I'm sorry I did not think you two were together.” He was polite about it but Donny laughed loudly.

“Oh no hot stuff not this little thing; he is all single. My date is not here tonight.” Danny got a hopeful look in his eye and Oliver slid off to get the drinks. 

The four men sat drinking and laughing for a good hour before Danny asked Steve to dance. Steve glanced at the floor it was crowed but the song was a slower dance so Steve was going to risk it. “Sure, I can do that” he stood up and followed Danny to the dance floor.  
~~~~~~~~  
It took a 30 minutes to get to the club from Brooklyn and when they got off the platform Ann Marie said she heard about this club from two men who brought in some clothes to be altered. 

“Well I overheard them talk about a bar where ‘their kind’ could go and be themselves. They thought they were being quiet as I shortened the pants they had brought in.”

“So, you have never been?” Bucky asked worried he could not risk getting caught up in a raid on a queer bar.

“Nope but Sara Perkins and her friend have and they loved it.” She just kept talking and talking. The more she talked the more it came back to Bucky why he had been kissing on her. If she was kissin’ she was not talking. God this was going to be a long night. He missed Steve and this broad would not shut up!

They entered the bar on the corner and asked for a table in the back where they could get some privacy. The waitress looked them up and down and then winked at Bucky. Bucky looked away and they were led to the booth and the curtains were closed.

“Can you tell Cassie we are waiting for her?” Ann asked. Bucky gave a ‘what the saints in heaven’ face and the waitress nodded and pulled the curtains tighter. 

“Hold on this is supposed to be fun.” Ann said as the booth swerved.

“Shit it’s a gin joint booth.” I had heard of these but never been. Buck was smiling; he loved all the cloak and dagger adventures he read about in pulp novels. They exited the booth and headed to the door.

She knocked but it most have been the wrong knock because the bouncer opened the door and stood in the door way. “Can I help you guys?” She frowned and looked at Bucky. “I think you might be lost.” Bucky saw what the bouncer saw and smiled. They looked like a normal couple on a date. One guy and one gal.

“Nope…” he popped the ‘p’ and looked the handsome if not very stacked bouncer up and down and grinned a lust filled grin. ‘ …‘m meeting my date here and her girl is runnin’ late is all.”

The bouncer looked Bucky over and raised an eye brow like he was not buying it. Thinking fast Bucky offered “My dates name is Steve, a little punk with bright smile and blond mop needs cutting.”

The bouncer nodded and moved “He came in an hour about with Cassie’s friend” He nodded to the table where Bucky saw Donavan and another man sitting; they were watching the floor with their mouths slacked open “Umm think you might be a bit late for your date pal he’s dancin’ with Danny. ” 

Bucky’s eyes got huge as the bouncer pointed to his Steve dancing very very close to a tall dark-haired man with roaming hands. 

“What the ever-loving fuck!” He was just gawking same as Donny had been. He looked to the bouncer annoyed, and flush in the face. “I see what you mean.” 

The man grabbed Bucky by the shoulder. “We would deal with trouble here pall. I’ll toss you and your man out quick as shit. This is a safe place won’t let trash make it any different.” Bucky understood, it was hard for queer folk to find a haven seeing as it was a crime just loving a fella if you were also a guy. 

“Won’t be no trouble sir. Just want to enjoy a drink where I can be me is all. Stevie is just a friend.” He swallowed back the anger in his words as he smiled at the large man.

“Sorry can’t be too careful ya know.” Bouncer moved back to the door and Bucky and Ann walked in and took a table near the dance floor because why the hell not Bucky needed some more self-loathing today. 

He never got to dance with Steve, well not in public. He never asked to and now it was eating him alive to watch his display. Ann placed her hand on Bucky’s shoulder he was red all over and visibly upset as he took his seat.  
To be fair he never went to the places where they could dance Bucky would always tell him they could not risk it.  
~~~~~~  
Donny saw Barnes as he stepped into the club.

“Shit!” Oliver and he were watching the truly mesmerizing display that was Danny and Steve dancing. Donny did not know Steve knew how to move his body like that. It was like watching water flow around Danny. It was all sex and sin a dance of touching and being touched. It was filthy was what it was all hands and upward glances. Everyone here was watching the two men. They were erotic and mess and if he had not known better Donny might think they were am item.

Danny touched and enjoyed being touched as Steve ran his hands down his back and around his stomach as he circled him. There was a moment in the dance, it looked like Steve slit down the front of Danny’s body and on to his knees. He looked up at Danny and grinned reaching his arms up. Danny got the hint and pulled Steve up to standing but Steve stuck his ass out so he was bent at the waist but his face was still near Danny’s crotch. He pushed Danny’s dick a bit with his lips and then nuzzled all the way up till he was kissing his lips.

“Give me a second Oliver we might have an issue.” Donny got up and headed to the near by table where Bucky was sitting with Ann Marie.

“Bucky don’t go there.” Donny got in between where Bucky was looking and the dance floor. “You two are over for now let it go!”

Bucky stood up and looked Donavan in the eye “Sorry, I can’t. I love him Donny” and pushed past him toward the dance floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of Chap 3 in rough draft form so I am hoping next weekend for update! 
> 
> Please comments (the good, the bad, and the what the hell were you thinking!?) and Kudos feeds my inner writer!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve came to the table sore, he grimaced as he sat, and grinning ear to ear. “Gents, and lady I am going to call it a night. Donny, you ok with me crashing at your place still?” 
> 
> “Sure, Stevie just, bath first you smell like a whore house.” Donny joked and held his nose closed and waived the air to clear it out.
> 
> “I just got fucked, like a whore, so it would go to reason I smell like one.” Steve grinned like a cat with cream and wiggled his eye brows at Donavan.

Steve and Danny were caught up in the music too much to notice Bucky approach them. He was fuming.   
Who was this goon dancing with his Steve? He took two deep breaths and on the second exhale he tapped Danny on the shoulder.

“May I cut in?” He was not going to be mad, Bucky was a grown ass man and he was not going to muddy his or Steve’s name by being a cad. Steve was his he knew it this was just a short break he would just remind Steve of what he was giving up. That’s what this was. A chance to woo him a bit. Steve and Danny stopped dancing and turned to Bucky, and for a second it looked like he was going to allow it. Steve tightened his hold on Danny and shook his head. 

“Sorry pal my partner’s not so keen on letting go maybe the next song.” He turned back to Steve and kept dancing. Bucky tightened his fists and took two more deep breaths. 

He caught Steve’s eye for a second and he could see there was shock and upset there. Fuck! He had promised Steve two weeks of not hounding him, and here he was breaking that promise on the first night out. He had no way of knowing Steve would be here. How could he know; hell he could not get Steve to come out with him for all the money in Brooklyn. Bucky stood there alone on the dance floor not moving watching all he wanted in this world in the arms of another; nodded to himself, he could do this, He could give Steve what he wanted, and walked off the dance floor.

He walked back to the table where Ann, Donavan and a red-haired man were now all sitting and talking. There were three empty chairs at the table and Ann motioned him over to take the empty one between her and Donny. 

“Sorry man, had I known you would could be dragged out to a place like this, I might have checked before bringing him here.” Donny tried to console Bucky. He had only meant to bring Steve some respite from the gloom that weighed on him. Bucky took note that the chair they set for him had its back to the dance floor. He side-stepped the chair and took the one next to Ann so he could watch the two men. He caught Steve watching the table a few times.

Steve clung tighter to the man he was dancing with and even kissed him once. This made Bucky boiling hot, Steve was being cruel Bucky thought and worse when had Steve turned into this? Had this been how it was for Steve when they went out? Seeing Bucky with all the girls His flirting and dancing, the kissing? 

Bucky shook that thought off, he had to dance and stuff it was their cover. He did not want the girls like he did Steve! This look on Steve’s face was pure want and desire for the man he was holding; he knew the look on Steve’s face; and it killed Bucky that someone else was putting it on his Steve.

“I wasn’t going to go anywhere for a bit, but this one wouldn’t get off my ass about it.” He looked upset at her. If he was being truthful, and he was; this was her fault! Had Ann just let Bucky stumble home that night, Steve would have never known. So, now all he wanted to do was sit in his shitty little apartment and sulk that Steve had left. He was going to sulk for two weeks and by the end hope he had come up with a way to win him back. 

“It’s for the best” Ann spoke up. “Now that you know that he has options; you will step up your plan and get out from behind your chintzy attempt at wooing the boy and do it right!” she was trying to smile but he could see she was being honest.

“Hey who says I was being chintzy?” Bucky said defensively. “Steve knows how I feel ‘bout him! What am I supposed to bring him flowers and shit?”

“With his breathing James, really, but when was the last time you took him out dancing?” Bucky huffed ya talk about breathing issues “Not a double date either but him and you, or to a dance hall where he has to pretend to be something he is not, but like Danny and he are right now? Or cooked a meal for him hmmm? Put him first recently? How about, failed to come home from an all nighter smellin’ like booze and perfume?” Donny asked harshly, and Bucky winced.

Bucky dropped his eyes back on the floor. He couldn’t think of the last time he did any of those things. Steve always cooked and Bucky worked that was their life, Steve looking out for Bucky and Bucky thought he was looking out for Steve. He was so worried about the big stuff, rent, and food and medicine he forgot the trivial things that made them a couple.

“That is what I figured” Donny’s voice slipped into a softer tone “honey that is what makes me and David work. He never forgets the little things. He can’t always put me first, and fuck that hurts all the damn time, but I am damn well, never, ever last!” Donny was trying to help, and Bucky knew it.

The song had changed to a slower song, and Danny was holding Steve closer; the whole front of their bodies pressed up against each other. Steve was smiling up at him. This hit Bucky’s heart hard, he remembered dancing with Steve at their apartment with the wireless on late one night. It looked almost like this in his memory. Steve had a few drinks with him after dinner. God, it had to have been six months if not a year since then. 

Donny and Ann were wrong about the girls. Bucky liked them well enough, but he did it all for Steve and him damn it! So, no one would come after Steve for being queer. He did it so he had work and always had the money to take care of Steve when he was short on the bills or worse sick. He had to keep up the appearance they were just pals! Right? 

He set his shoulders, Steve was not weak if he wanted something he knew he just had to ask and Bucky would give it to him. He had asked Steve to come out with him plenty of times; only to turn Bucky away tellin’ him to go find a dame he could smooch on. This for some reason made Bucky irrationally upset.

“Hey!” He felt hot in the face and his eyes were tight with anger “I asked Stevie to come out with me plenty of times. He always says no!” He looked down at his hands where he had lit a smoke after Donny cocked and eyebrow at his outburst. “I do the other stuff for us too! You all know how it is when the world thinks you’re an invert. He could get hurt or worse killed! We could lose our place!” 

“More hurt than thinking one day he will have to watch you marry a woman? Having to kiss her cheek at your wedding ‘cause he is your best pal, and pretend to be ok with losing you forever? More hurt than seeing you have kids with a dame? Watching her be the things he can never be for you?” Donny hit him right in the heart. He noticed that Donny was saying he was the one to do these things. Would it be so far off to think Steve could be the one getting married and having a heap of kids? Donny’s eyebrow fell and he looked sideways at Bucky as if he could read his mind.

Honestly, Bucky never really thought that far ahead, worse, Donavan was right, Steve always worried about the time he would lose Bucky, and said it a few times in passing if in a joking manner. Told Bucky he might be ‘finding a proper wife’ someday or ‘can’t wait to spoil your kids like this’ when he gave Steve something extra as a treat. Suddenly his heartbeat started racing and the song that filled the club picked up too. It was a fast tune and Ann stood up and headed to the bar patting him on the back as he walked by.

Bucky did not even look up at her as she left, so he missed Danny and Steve leaving the floor. “I don’t gotta choice in that Donny you know that.” Bucky said softly more to himself than Donny. “David has a family and you’re ok with it?”

“I am not ‘ok with it’ Bucky! I deal with it, and drink a lot, and I get it. But David was married first and I came later. Trish knew about David’s wants long before me. She and I have an understanding, but it still hurts! Steve will never get that from you, will he? He was here first.”

Steve stomped over in front of Bucky and put his hands on his hips yelling down at him like he was a whipped puppy. “I asked you for one thing James Barnes! One god damn thing, two weeks, give me two weeks, where I ain’t gotta worry about you and me! You can’t even go one god fucking damn day! Worse yet, you’re out with her?!” Steve was so mad he was red to his ear and standing over Bucky talking though gritted teeth.

“Steve please I didn’t know you were going to be here! I'm sorry and I'm not here with her, but Ann has to tell you something, and seeing as you’re here, can we please just talk for a minute. I didn’t come here to bother you, and I’ll go when we are done, just please two seconds!” Bucky was quiet but begging. Steve had never seen him beg like this. It took him back a second then he reschooled his face in annoyance.

“What is she knocked up or something? You two getting hitched? I'm pretty sure there is nothing she has to say I want to hear and that goes twice for you Bucky Barnes!” Donny watched as the argument progressed glancing around the room, people were starting to stare, and Danny looked a bit taken back and went to move away. Bucky flinched as Steve poked his finger in Bucky’s face to start yelling again. 

“No! Oh god! No Stevie, its none of that Steve please its not about her and I, not there is a her and I, but please just take a breath and sit down! Please Stevie I'm beggin’ ya, hear her out.” Bucky looked up, eyes glassy as he turned to look at Steve. He was still seated at the table his forearms on his knees with his hands hanging between his legs.

“Steve, honey your causing a scene, and you how I love being the center of attention here, but this is a bit much.” Donny tried to play it off but he was getting uncomfortable. It was at this time Ann brought back a round of drinks for the table. She handed one to each of the guys seated and then one to Steve and Danny who had not yet sat down. Steve glared at her but took and downed it fast.

Steve sat down with a huff and Danny sat next to him, but he looked like he was going to bolt at any second. “I'm sorry Danny I always assume everyone knows Bucky, and his date seeing, as they get around so often. This is my EX Bucky Barnes and his lady Ann Marie.” He noticed Bucky raise his eyebrow at dig at him and Ann. Worse was the use of ex meaning Steve did not see them as together anymore. That tore something up in him. This was just a break and Steve is mad he told himself. 

Danny stayed very still like he was caught in a compromising position with someone else’s sweetheart. He knew of Bucky, everyone knew Bucky Barnes, through word of mouth at least, he was known to be a straight laced kinda guy, with a mean left hook, if you crossed him or his pal… Oh! his PAL… Fuck his Pal Steve!

“Steve… as in Steve Rogers? As in get my teeth knocked in for lookin’ at you wrong Steve?” Steve looked at Danny eyebrows wrinkled, he was a bit lost at Danny’s words. Sure, Bucky would wade into a fight after his ass, but he never heard of Bucky hitting someone over him? He was even more lost as Danny scooted away from him a bit, not missing Bucky’s smirk.

“Yeah… why?” Steve scooted closer to Danny, who risked a look up at Bucky. Bucky shrugged as Steve looked around the table like he was missing an inside joke. “What the hell?”

“You two weren’t just pals, were you? He’s your fella?” Danny asked a bit warily. Its not like Bucky was in the mob or anything. He was just kind a protective of Steve. And what the hell? Ten minutes ago Danny’s hands were all over Steve, and now he is acting like he would rather be anywhere else.

“Was, my fella Danny, and is my EX fella now. What the hell is goin’ on?” Steve glared back at Bucky. Who just raised his hands like he had no clue what that man was going on about 

“Danny, Bucky’s a big mouth, but he don’t own me ok? Give me 5 minutes and I will deal with this shit, so you and I can go back to having that drink you promised. Maybe some more kissin’ if you’re lucky.” He leaned in to Danny and kissed him full on the mouth, the kiss was filthy; messy in the best ways and full of promise. Danny got the hint, put his hands on either side of Steve’s face and kissed him stupid.

Steve was the power in that relationship, and he had nothing to fear from Bucky. He pulled Steve in to his lap and ran his hands all over the smaller man, as he returned the kiss and he enjoyed he high whine Steve made. He did not need to know that it was more to make Bucky jealous than any real want. 

“Five, then I am going to show you a real good time baby.” Danny whispered, and Steve flushed. Looked over at Bucky who could have killed with the look he was giving the two now.

Steve stood up and Danny relaxed a bit. “You got 5 minutes Barnes and then I am going to get drunk and have some fun, and you can go stick your dick, where ever you want to for all I care.” He walked to the other end of the bar and talked to a tall red haired woman who pointed to the door next to the stage and smiled. Steve waved Bucky over to the door and looked at him in question. Bucky nodded, and ann followed behind him after moment.

“What’s back there?” Danny asked Donny it came out a bit concerned. He glanced at Oliver unsure of what to do now.

“Private rooms!” He waggled his eye brows in answer. “Relax you two! Danny you are so going to get lucky with that little punk tonight, I am almost sure of it. Oliver, I hate to say, but you and I may be going home alone.” 

Steve grabbed the door and flung it open waiting for Bucky and Ann to go though. If looks could kill Bucky would be pushing up daises and Ann would be worm food. Bucky knew this look he saw it only a few hours ago. Steve had lost it and was about tell Bucky off, again. 

He led them to an old curtained off area in the back of the stage. These were old dressing rooms for the stage acts, each alcove had a heavy velvet curtain covering a diamond pointed, arched, doorway. Seeing as there was no singer tonight they would do as a privet meeting spot. This one had all the costumes and cosmetics you would expect to find off the side of a stage. Steve closed the heavy curtain as Ann came into the room. 

“I don’t know what your playing at the two of you but I'm two steps from killing one of you. So, whatever this crap is, spit it out, so I can go back out and enjoy the night.” Steve was never this pushy or forward Bucky found it, arousing, scary but yep he was half hard. 

“We didn’t fuck Steve. I dragged Bucky home after he got too drunk to walk me home.” Ann said coolly. She looked unimpressed at Steve’s outburst. 

Steve got in her face and snorted. The sound of Brooklyn pure through and through. “Honey, did you forget I caught you leaving OUR bedroom holding your shoes and garters. You were sneaking out. Like. A. Whore.” Bucky sucked in a shocked gasp. Steve never spoke to ladies this way. He was pointing a finger at her with every word.

“Steve Rogers!” Bucky chided and regretted it the moment he said it. The full force of Steve’s rage centered on him. “You ain’t going to talk to ladies like that; your ma would turn over in her grave if she saw this!”

“I call them, like I see them Bucky.” He gave her a sideways glance “You chose to bring this here tonight and she already knows your queer or some what queer. How should I see it? Huh? What were we both, just one more hole for the infamous Bucky Barnes? Conned into his bed by his sweet words and all the charm he could pile on?”

That hit Bucky like a blow to the face, a knife wound would have hurt less. “Steve you know better than that. I love you I can’t be without you. Please she is telling you the truth! I'm not saying we did not fool around but I did not stick it in her!”

“So? Why does it matter? Were all the others lies too? Cause that’s why we’re apart. Bucky you lied to me! Did you tell her the truth?” He spun on Ann with a less spiteful face it was a mockery “You see, our Bucky here, likes the ladies, a lot and, even if he tells you he is not fucking them; he is.” He looked worried for her and put on a fake smile and picked up her hand and patted the back of it “So I would always wear a rubber with this one. He’s a love ‘m and leave ‘m type.” Steve was being cruel; He knew it. He did not give two fucks. 

“Oh, I know what kind of man James Barnes is kid. I have known a long time. And yeah, he is a love ‘m and leave ‘m kind alright, and he may even be a liar.” She patted the top of his hand with her other and looked him coldly in the eye “You see; he lied to all us girls too. Told us we were pretty, and he wanted us! But, whole time he is thinking about your sorry lunger ass back home!”

She dropped his hand and looked up at Bucky then back at Steve. She knew Bucky would be mad at her she did not care. Steve needed to know the truth and she was so done with these two. “He called your name, when I set his sorry ass in bed that night. The next day, he came, hat in hand to my JOB, asking me to come tell you what he couldn’t recall. He was passed out drunk that night and crying out for you to come to bed.” She jabbed her finger at Steve’s face “So please, you tell me about your best guy here, and all the evil he has done! It seems I don’t know him at all.” She smiled at Bucky “If you will excuse me I have a girl to meet.”

Steve stood there shocked as she left. “She’s meeting a girl?” Steve asked as if he had missed her whole speech.

“Yeah, that is what she told me when dragging me out here. She is like me, she likes both guys and dames. Look Stevie, only reason I kissed her to begin with is, so she would stop talking.” He laughed a bit. “Look I did not know you would be here, and I will go if it helps. I meant what I promised. Two weeks of not doggin’ yo-”

“Why does Danny look scared of you?” Steve asked cutting Bucky off. He got it now Bucky would back off and Steve would hold him to it. Now he had to know why was Danny so freaked out.

“I can’t say, Stevie but you know, the neighborhood knows; they mess with you, they are bound to get the bad side of me.” He smiled coyly at Steve. “and no one wants that baby.”

“You don’t gotta go, but I am going to spend the night with him. I am enjoying him; and him not being afraid of who he is or who I am would be nice. I am going to live for the two weeks as if we are not a couple. Just like you do most days, so I don’t want you causing me or him any trouble got it!” Bucky nodded.

“I won’t but I don’t want you thinking that your going to get rid of me forever. I love you Steve and I am going to find a way to show you that. You’re all I want in this horrible, messy world.” He reached out and ran his fingers down Steve’s jaw and turned to leave.

“Bucky?” Steve called after him watching him turn “That is how I feel all the time. You are all I wanted too.” Bucky nodded and left. Steve sat in the little dressing room for a few minutes; taking a few deep breaths, when he heard a knock on the wall. He assumed it was someone wanting some time togather. “Sorry ’m leaving.”

“Umm Steve I was just checking on you.” Danny’s voice came though the cloth wall. “May I come in?”

“Yeah Danny you can, sorry about that shit with Bucky, I didn’t know he was going to be here. If you want to take off that’s cool. He won’t be any bother no matter what you heard.” Steve smiled at him as he entered the small alcove. He was amazing to look at, tall and built. Smaller than Bucky but larger than Steve. Danny crossed the room to gather Steve into his arms but stopped allowing the smaller man room if he did not want to be close to him anymore.

“What if I wanted to stay right here with you?” He ducked his head into Steve’s space and leaned in to kiss him gently pressing his lips to Steve’s. Steve deepened that kiss, and pulled Danny down to him pressing their bodies together, and whimpering softly as Danny went for broke. He pulled Steve closer by the back of his head and moaned into his mouth, but kissing like this caused Steve to run out of breath fast, so he was the first to pull away. He was panting, and his lips were kiss bitten and wet still. 

“I’d ask,” Steve got bold and ran his hands down the front of Danny’s slacks. “if all you wanted was kissin’? But I see you have larger plans for me.”

“Oh, you sweet, hot thing you. I want a lot more then kissing that is for damn sure. I wanted it all fucking night. I want to bend you in half and make you scream my name. I want to make you forget your own name as ream that pretty little ass of yours, just tell me how you like it, and I will make it amazing for you Steve.” He kissed just behind Steve’s ear and spun them around, so he was sitting on the make up stool with Steve leaned into the V of his legs.

“I like it hard and fast and filthy as you can manage it”. He pulled the condom out of his pocket and slid it into Danny’s hand. Cassie had given it to him thinking, this was what he and Bucky were going to do. “I want to stride out of this room walkin’ funny, and have everyone know, I gave it up for you baby. Can you do that for me?”

“Got no slick.” He wrinkled his forehead a bit, as Steve leaned over him and opened the top drawer of the make up stand. It was fully stocked with oils and condoms. “Look at you! Like a boy scout all ways prepared!” Danny was touching him but being easy, careful like he would break Steve if he moved wrong. His talk was big, but his movements were tender. 

“Danny, I'm not made of glass, I need you to tear me up! Use me and make me remember it all week!” Steve dropped to the floor and grabbed the buckle of Danny’s belt and undid it; he was not being gentle at all. Steve wanted Danny with all the force his 100 lb body could muster. He unbuttoned and unzipped Danny’s pants and pulled his dick out. It was larger than Bucky and hard as a rock. He looked up at Danny through his blond lashes and grinned before sucking him down to the root and back up with a wet squelching sound it was dirty and showy, and Danny loved it.

Steve started running his hand up and down the shaft a few times. Standing up and kissing him hard again as he did. Then softly ghosting his lips over Danny’s he asked “Can you do that Danny? Use me like that? I know it’s what you want; coming up to the smallest punk in the bar offering me a drink hoping I would get enough in me to let you fuck me how you wanted? You wanted me bouncing on this dick begging for more. Didn’t you, Big Boy?” He kept kissing down Danny’s neck spewing filth from his mouth. “You knew how much damage this could do, in a body small as mine? Wanted to hear me cry out, didn’t you? Here’s your chance.”

Danny nodded and wrapped his hand around Steve’s throat. His grip was frim but not choking. He used his grasp to push Steve away from his face and glowered at him “I see how this is going to go. You’re going to call out as I ream that ass Princess and you’re going to do as your told to as well or I will tan that ass and though pretty pale thighs. How’s that sound baby? You just needed a man to remind you a punk’s place? Tell me I'm wrong.” Danny was playing his part well, and Steve could see it; Danny giving him what he asked for and nothing more. 

“On your knees!” Steve lowered himself down, as much as he could with Danny still gripping his throat, pleased with getting what he wanted. He let his face show it, a wicked smile faded to a pleading look, then a touch of fear that he let slip over his face. This was not Bucky; Bucky would never allow this, he was always so careful, always worried about Steve’s health or someone hearing them fuck. 

“Now, open up that smart mouth wide and get my dick properly wet. I want you to feel all of it when I shove it in your prefect ass!”

Normally this would not be ok with Steve, the harshness and the name calling, but he’s sure he won’t ever see Danny again after tonight, and he wanted to take his mind off of Bucky and Ann and where Bucky had been sticking it. Steve liked the role play of this, the feeling of bein’ used and wanted so much, almost hunted even. He let the scene play out in his head. It was more or less the truth, he was a small punk who loved to be man handled and fucked till he cried. 

He sucked on Danny till he was nice and hard and wet rolling his tongue around and listening to Danny come apart above him. Danny ran his fingers though Steve’s hair, and pulled hard only to force him back down, force him to take it deeper. 

“Fuck, your good baby, ok ok. I want that ass of yours.” He slid out of Steve’s mouth and handed him one of the vials of oil. Steve was a bit confused. “Show me you want this big cock in your ass, bend over the couch up on your knees and pull yourself open for me. I want to watch you, finger your ass hole until it’s a sloppy, fucked out hole just begging for a prick. Then maybe I’ll fuck you.” 

Steve bit his lip and looked Danny up and down. There were no cracks in mask Danny wore right now so Steve did as he was told. Dropped his pants down his skinny legs and kneed up on the sofa. He watched over his shoulder as Danny sat on the stool again and stroked himself.

“Longer you take the less of a fucking you’re going to get. You see I’m not stopping my stroking until I’m in your fuck hole, Now get on with it Princess!” Steve moaned like a cheap whore as he got his first finger into himself. Keeping his eyes on Danny. He quickly slid a second finger in and hissed. He was not doing a very good job at opening himself up; mostly just adding slick to his hole, it was still tight and the two fingers still had that tell tale burn god he loved it. He did not want to be sloppy till after they fucked.

“Danny, oh fuck, come on fuck me. You gotta! I’m ready! please I need it.” Danny was not sure he would fit into Steve if he did not let Steve add another finger, or give himself some more, well a lot more honestly, lube. He looked at Steve and shook his head.

“One more finger! I said sloppy wet, and I am not seeing that now, come on you can do it. Remember I told you do as I say or a tanning is commin’ ” Steve stopped fingering his ass; this was his show and he would be damned if he was going to give up on what he wanted; and how he wanted it.

“No, I want to feel you pry me open with that monster cock you are playing with. I want it! I can take it, just, come on. Danny please!” Steve was enjoying this part of the game they were playing. He was being a brat and he did not care. 

“Ok Kid it’s your asshole” Danny stood from the stool, headed to the couch dick in hand, lined up and shoved in hard. Oh god Steve was so tight it almost hurt him.

He felt the clench of pain and he knew now Steve was not ready and the sound Steve made confirmed it. It was a scream of pain “Shit Steve?!” he didn’t know if pulling out would hurt more or just let him adjust and them pull out. “Hey baby talk to me.” he rubbed over Steve’s back and ass trying to rub some of the tension out. Danny let the game drop worried for his partner. He could talk big but he was not into causing real pain. 

“Come on, come on, oh so good. Fuck Danny come on fuck me hard! The way you said you wanted me.” Danny slowly pulled out and slammed back in. It made Steve scream again, and then moan. “Ah! Yes fuck, perfect, god damn its… perfect keep it up just like that. mmhmm” Danny kept at it for a few minutes and then pulled out.

“You were right I wanted you to bounce on my cock.” he pulled out of Steve, and then pulled Steve off couch and sat himself down patting his legs. Steve looked down at his lap and noticed an issue.

“Danny where’s the rubber?” Steve asked, he was calm, but he let the little punk act drop, he did not want to fuck a stranger without a rubber.

“I had not gotten it on when you asked me to fuck you? Shit. I can put it on now if you want. I ain’t got off yet?” Steve paused and nodded “Ok ya, just put it on and let’s get this on the road. My ass doesn’t hurt nearly enough, and I want to feel in my throat. .” Steve watched as Danny pulled the rubber on and he went to back up to Danny’s lap when Danny spun him around 

“Nope want to see you take it. Get up on your knees and bounce on it.” Steve did as he was told, and Danny put his hand back to Steve throat squeezing a bit more this time. “There’s a good boy. I just loving watching you struggle; you take that hard, thick prick so well. Tell me, does it hurt now?” Steve closed his eyes a bit and let the feeling of being so very full wash over him, and yes it still hurt he nodded and then sighed. Finally, Steve dropped down hard and Danny gasped at the feeling of being buried so far in Steve. He used his grip on Steve’s neck to bounce him the way he wanted him too. 

“Harder! Squeeze harder! Choke me, fuck me, more please, oh, yeah there yeah fuck!” Steve commanded and Danny obeyed. This made Steve fuck him harder and whine as the fire in his body was building. 

“Steve I’m going to go off! Fuck you’re so tight, so small, you ready?” Steve clenched his ass to make it tighter for Danny, and shifted his hips so Danny hit him right on his sweet spot.   
“Yeah cum for me Danny flood my tight ass!” Danny pounded up into him harder and his thrusts became inconsistent. The words that Danny was saying were lost on Steve, as he came all over the two of them. Danny followed a moment later. 

“That was, fuck, that was hot as hell.” Danny held Steve close as Steve shook a bit. He was sore and worn out as promised, “This a one off thing yeah?” 

“Yep,” Steve pushed up and off of him to get up and clean up “It was an amazing thing, but it was only the one time. sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry; just do me a favor if it don’t work with that stiff Barnes, come find me. I’ll take care of you.” He smiled, and Steve knew he meant it in a sexy way, but part of him wondered if he really could make a go of it with Danny.

“Sure, but don’t hold your breath ok?” He kissed him again and headed for the curtain. “I'm going to head home for the night. Thanks again!”

~~~~~~~~  
Bucky passed Danny as Bucky was leaving the dressing rooms and grabbed his arm “I’m not going to stop this tonight, but we both know what happens if it continues? Don’t we?” He was all steel and malice. “He is mine and I will give him what he asked for, but you are a shmuck and are not taking him from me. So, treat him right for the evening and beat it. Are we clear?”

Danny nodded and shook loose “Does he know? What you did for him?”

Bucky smiled and stood up taller “No and if you tell him, I will come after you, and, you will regret it.” Bucky smiled a sweet smile towards Ann and walked her way. “One night and don’t hurt him! You know what happened to the last fella who did?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The four of them, Donny, Ann, Oliver and Bucky sat laughing and joking for about half an hour when Steve came out from the back rooms. He was limping a bit and his throat was red and splotchy. ‘Damn it’ Bucky thought ‘I am going to have to kill that fucker after all.’ Steve looked good though he was smiling and still mussed from sex; Bucky had to admit it made his cock hard. Fucked good and still glowing from it was a perfect look for Steve. 

Steve came to the table sore, he grimaced as he sat, and grinning ear to ear. “Gents, and lady I am going to call it a night. Donny, you ok with me crashing at your place still?” 

Steve did not miss the anger that flooded Bucky’s eyes. Steve knew what he looked like and how he was walking, and he loved how he felt! He also knew Bucky would wait to see him before he left the club. Steve had warned him what he was going to do. It was not his fault Bucky never listened.

“Sure, Stevie just, bath first you smell like a whore house.” Donny joked and held his nose closed and waived the air to clear it out.

“I just got fucked, like a whore, so it would go to reason I smell like one.” Steve grinned like a cat with cream and wiggled his eye brows at Donavan. 

He said good night to Oliver and Ann and then turned on Bucky. “Still want a good night kiss?” he raised an eyebrow in a challenge. “Can’t say my mouth is particularly clean but up…”

“Yes.” was the only answer he got as Bucky stepped into his space and kissed him long deep kiss. He could taste the other man on Steve’s lip it made the fury in his worse. He had to let go before he did something stupid. He leaned his forehead on Steve’s “Two weeks Pal then talk ok?” He was saying it softly, and more a reminder for himself then Steve. Steve nodded.

Bucky needed one more kiss this was his last he was getting for two long weeks. The kiss lasted too long to avoid stupid; he bit hard into Steve’s soft lip drawing a bit of blood and then pulling away. “Night.” 

Bucky headed for the door, knowing full well that he was going to beat the fuck out of Danny for marking up his boy, but Steve did not need to know.

Steve smirked lickin’ the wound “That jerk, had to mark me up even when we are not together.” 

Donny stood up and slid his hand around Steve’s shoulders. “Would you expect different from Barnes?”

“Nope and this next two weeks is going to be fun!” Steve smiled at Donny as they got to the coat check. They were standing behind Bucky and Ann. Those two were not talking, looks like Ann stuck out in the ladies. 

Donny sighed and patted Steve on the back “I can get behind that Steve, what’s next?”

“Sleep, I got work tomorrow but how about that new bar a few blocks from your place Tuesday?” Steve limped and hissed as he slid his coat on. “Fuck my ass is going to hurt all week. Its been a while for that you know Donny.” 

Donny did not miss Bucky scrunching up his whole body as he heard Steve’s words. ‘Sorry pal I know its going to be a long two weeks for you too’ was the only look Donavan could give Bucky over Steve’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am working to get this out faster than my last one. Thank you for your support it means the world to me. Kudos and comments keep me writing and I am always open to feedback. Come chatter at me I am on Tumbler at shalandrial!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, Stevie this is your home. Two weeks away won’t change that, nothing will, even if we… I mean if you don’t want to keep,” he motioned between them “with me, I mean. This will be your place, and I want to be friends even if we don’t work out as more. You can come here whenever.” Buck had moved from the door as to not block Steve in. “Thank you for picking up you know I’m a mess without you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun to write. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always thank you to my amazing beta reader Natfakrbeaut!

This Monday was a lazy day. At least for Donny it was; Steve was working, which meant, him getting his art supplies to draw and paint a theater poster proof to get it ready for approval. It also meant Donavan talking to him about the night before and distracting him. He missed having a quiet place to work and he missed the smell of home, the feel of his own space, with little bits around him that reminded him of Bucky, mostly he missed Bucky. He shook the thought clear of his head, this was Bucky’s doing and he was sticking to it! It was only two weeks! Well it was now 13 days, but who was counting; other then Steve!

Worst part of today, was Steve got what he wanted from Danny the night before, and was struggling to sit down while he worked. After trying again, for the 4th time today and failing, which made Donny laugh at him, and in turn made Steve glare, Donny had finally gotten quiet as he started reading. 

The quiet lasted a total of 20 minutes then Donny decided bugging Steve was more fun than any book he owned. 

“I gotta know Steve, did you plan to fuck Danny before Barnes got there or was it an after he got there kind of thing? I mean ‘s not like you to be mean to anyone especially Bucky.” He was smiling as if already knew the answer. Donny had never seen Steve so mad as he was last night, and assumed Steve would have forced himself to fuck Danny just to piss off Barnes.

“I was not planning to screw him, but it was possible. Danny is a good lookin’ man after all; I was interested in more than a drink. Then Bucky showed up with Ann, the chick he had fucked in our bed, I lost it Donny. I got so mad, and I figured if Bucky can fuck who he wants so can I.” Steve did the chin thing that Donny found so very cute, and then let his face fall a bit. The war of feelings was clearly written on Steve’s face. The worry, he pushed Bucky too far last night and really wounded him, and thought, he did not care if he hurt the man he loved, after being hurt by him so badly.

Steve looked at his poster then back to Donny “Danny looked at me like a man, someone worth pursuing and he fucked me like one too. Bucky is always so afraid to hurt me. It’s like he doesn’t see me as the guy I am, but the boy he grew up with. All the damn time! I like that he takes care of me, but he misses that I take care of him too.”

“So, you would fuck Danny again if you had the chance?” Donny loved to gossip, and he was all smiles now. He wanted to refocus Steve a bit; bring him back to a happier place for a while.

“Yeah in the next two weeks I would do him again; if the opportunity came up. Why?” Donny just smiled at the answer and Steve shook his head and turned back to his work. He was not sure he wanted any part of that Salacious smile on Donny face.

Steve let his smile slip off his face. He pondered internally he was not doing worrying about his actions last night. ‘Was he smiling because it felt good to be with Danny, or because he hurt Bucky?’ He went quiet for a bit, it was the former, Danny made him feel good and let him forget his ache in his heart. He would never enjoy hurting Bucky, and he knew he needed to apologize to him for it. 

“Donny what happened really had little to do with Bucky being there, but if I’m honest, it felt good to rub it in just a bit. Give him a taste of what I see, every time we go out. Having to see him hanging on girls kissing them and dancing too close. Maybe he will understand when we talk in a few weeks. However, it was almost all about the feeling of Danny wanting me; of the way Danny treated me.”

Donny nodded, and his smile faded. He looked at Steve’s face; this was not going the way he hoped it would, so he let Steve lead. Steve needed to talk about it more seriously, so Donny would give him the honesty he was known for.

“Steve, you hurt him pretty bad, you know that, right?” Donny was trying to keep Steve honest and aware of his actions. He knew; Bucky loved Steve, and Steve loved Bucky. Donny also understood that; pain could make people who loved each other do twisted, spiteful things. It was nice to see Steve blowing off some of the hurt, he wanted to keep him on track to reconcile. Having some fun this week was ok if Steve kept on this path. 

“I know I did. I didn’t mean to be so cruel Donny, but things need to change with he and I. It got a bit outta hand and I am sorry for it truly I am; he just makes me so mad and hurt! Worst of it he don’t seem to care at all! He has to see me as equal if we are going to move forward. ‘m not as a project or a burden. I’m a man, queer sure, but a man none the less. And yeah, ok we had things that weren’t working between us, but he would never talk about them, no matter how hard I begged him to talk to me! I was starting to feel like a dirty secret, and of all the things I want with him that is never going to be one of them.” 

Steve looked sad again. He just stared at the poster he was working on not moving. He often looked sad when talking about his relationship with Bucky. This was no good. Donny knew he had time to keep working on the plan to keep his friends together but right now Steve needed to think about something else a distraction.

“So, are we staying in tonight? David called, and he is thinking of coming this evening, so he can go out with us tomorrow. Said, he was going to be in the city on business tonight.” Steve looked over his shoulder, raised an eyebrow at the way Donny said Business, and Donny looked down over his own body and smirked. “Yes, that business you brat!”

“Do you need me to go out to give you some alone time?” Steve wiped him hands on his paint rag and turned to look at his friend smiling.

“No, honestly last time you were here in the apartment when we screwed; I got fuck so hard I went cross eyed. I think it turns David on, to know someone can hear us. He has a voyeuristic stripe in him.“ They both laughed and Steve turned back to paint, another hour passed and Steve called it time for lunch.

“Donny? Would you stay with Bucky? I mean if it, were you?” He asked out of the blue as he chewed on a bite of his sandwich. He looked sheepish and unsure of himself. So far off from the cocksure man he was just last night. He was pulling the crust off the bread and eating it in small bites, squirming on the couch near his friend. 

“Steve, honey, it’s not about what I would do. Its got to be what is good for you. We are a lot alike, you and I, but what I would or wouldn’t do, may be amazingly different from what you should or shouldn’t do.”

Donny smiled at Steve a small quick smile “We don’t care who knows about our choice, and we both want a stronger man who can look out for us” Donavan took a bite of his own sandwich “Bucky is in love with you all the way through, and he will take care of you all your life if you let him. I know this for a fact. The question is how much of the worlds shit, are you going to put up, with for that love? It will rip you apart until you don’t know each other anymore if you let it. That has to be up to you.” 

Steve looked at the plate in his lap. He knew what Donny was saying, the thought of watching in best friend move past him even if it was a farce would kill Steve. It was not right or fair it had to be that way, and it was worse to the woman Bucky married. Ann was right Bucky would fuck them, but Steve knew Bucky did not love them any of them even if he did find one he would finally marry. Steve knew who ever Bucky married he would not love her like he did Steve not with all of himself like a husband should. How was that fair to her?

“I don’t know, but to be honest. How is that fair for us, people like me and you? Either we deal with how it is or… or we get well…” he made an odd gesture with his hands between him and Donny. “exposed and arrested or worse?”

Donny laughed. “That is one way to put it. Yes, it is how it is for us Kid. Do you really want my advice?” Donny finished his sandwich and looked up folding his hands in his lap after setting the plate of the table to his side.

“Yeah, I do.” Steve finished his final bite waiting for Donny to give it to him.

“Enjoy these two weeks, live a bit. Grab Danny by the prick and dance till your lungs give out. Sadly, that will be too soon, but fuck whoever you want to, kiss and explore the world. Then go home to your fella after it’s all done. Talk to him tell him what you need, and want. Let him know what you can and can’t take from the outside world. Then, you love him like I know you do; he is not a bad man, and he will listen. You know that too.” Donny was not judging him, and he knows Steve really loves Bucky, he was hurt is all. 

“And if I find love somewhere else?” He quips at Donny “What if I find I like Danny or find love with someone else?” Steve knew there was a fat chance in hell that would happen.

“Sweet pea you are not going to find love like you share with Barnes in a few lifetimes, even if you live to be one hundred, let alone a few days.” Donny picked up their plates and headed to the sink. “But on another topic! Damn that limp last night was amazing, you ride a dick like a champ!” he winked at Steve from the kitchen, and Steve laughed so hard he started wheezing. 

“He was amazing, but I told him it was a one off. Bet I won’t see him again. Too bad though, he’s no Bucky, but hell, it was fun. He is all I wanted in a good one-night stand. He was rough and tumble and just this side of brutal. Yet, I could see it was an act, after it was over, he was kind and caring but not too loving.” Steve stood up and headed back to his work. 

“Don’t bet on that on off thing. I invited Oli tomorrow, so he’s bringing Danny along with us.” Donny smiled

“Damn it!” Steve cussed and looked to his friend. “You’re going to be the death of me Donny; I can’t sit now! How am I going to keep up!” He laughed a hardy laugh and shook his head.

“Go finish your work; I got washing up to do” Donny headed to the small bathroom and closed the door. Humming as he worked, Steve had to admit he was looking forward to seeing Danny again. He was not Bucky, but he was a good distraction. 

 

The rest of the afternoon passed with no major events. Steve finished his proof at near dinner time and Donny got the apartment presentable for David’s visit. 

“No point in having a messy abode for him to come home too.” Donny said as he slumped down on the couch. He was dressed in a stylish looking pair of pants and a white dress shirt unbuttoned at the neck. 

“Yeah I always made sure the apartment was kept up with Bucky. He was a grade A slob.” He laughed as he finished washing up the space he worked in. “You sure you don’t want me to go out it won’t be a problem?”

“Naw, what I want, I am too chicken shit to ask for so, nope just hang out here and read or whatever.” Donny was not known to be shy, so Steve gave him the once over.

“What is it you’re wanting Donny? May be now or never, if Bucky gets his…” there was a sharp knock at the door.

“Donavan?” The knobbed turned and David stalked in two other men with him. He was disheveled and had a few bruises on his face. “Sorry honey there was an issue at work” He gave Donny a hard look and then to Steve. He had forgotten Steve was still here, his look was panicked and then hard again.

“Steve follow me into the back room” Donavan demanded, it may have been a question, but it did not come out as one. Steve followed the order as Donny nodded to David, and ushered Steve away from the main room. Steve was slow to go and didn’t get why Donny was not in a rush to help his lover who looked worse for wear now. 

“NOW Steve!” Donny made a fast grabbing motion with his hands, and Steve got the message as he was pushed in the back room, and on to the large bed.

“Donny what the hell?” Steve asked but Donny cut him off with a look

“Hush I can’t tell you David’s business, but it is just best if we stay here until this blows over. It happens sometimes. David has some,” He pauses looking for the right word “less then upstanding, clients and it can get a bit rough. So, keep your mouth shut and head down.” 

Donavan picked up the book on his nightstand and started reading like it was no big deal that David looked hurt or that there where now strange men in his home. He looked at Steve and saw he was wearing that look again. There was yelling coming from the front room and what sounded like a smack.

Steve made to get off the bed and go to help but Donny put a hand on his shoulder. “Let it go Steve. How the hell do you think David can afford my life 100% and his back home? He has to do two times the work. I offered to help but he won’t stand for it. Said he had it and to not worry about it. When we got this place, he said there would be times he may need it for meetings. I ain’t got a leg to stand on to tell him no, so I just disappear for an hour or so and after its over, poof all taken care of.”

Steve frowned. “Donny, I don’t like this. It’s not safe for you! I know you love him but…a wise guy?” 

There was a loud thump from the front room then the front door opened. “Tony asked me to talk with you about the late dues, for the stevedores. I know normally they are not part of your guys’ deal, but as he told you, we feel there is a need to bring them into the fold with the longshoremen. This is what we expect in the next 10 days. I know you are the man to make sure it happens.” It was not David’s voice talking. It was familiar.

“Steve!” Donny hissed “Come over here and away from the door you don’t want to know what’s goin’ on it can get you killed!”

Steve did as he was told, as he mulled over the voices in the main room. Donny huffed and handed him an old book from the night table. He read and played some solitaire. The meeting was over in less than an hour. The front door closed and when Steve got up to leave the room Donny shook his head. “David will come get us when it is all clear.” Steve sighed and crossed his arms. He did not want to get mixed up in this, he disliked wise guys they were bullies. He would have never pegged David for one, or well, working for one. 

“I need to take a piss and I want to go for a walk.” Steve started pacing as he waited it was a few mins before David opened the door to the bed room and took four large steps to the bed and scooped Donny up in his arms.

“I am so sorry honey; didn’t have time to get to the office, so I had to make due here.” He kissed Donny stupid and seemed to forget Steve was there. “I missed you.” They keep kissing as Steve tries to quietly shift to the door to leave. 

He catches Donavan’s eyes on him and smiles as he slides closer to the door. “Baby let me get you cleaned up and some food in you. Before we take this too far, and poor Steve bursts into flames from watching you take me like a wild animal!”

David looks over his shoulder at Steve. His face is cleaner then when he came in but he still looked pretty rough. His smile was kind and Salacious maybe. “Sorry Steve I knew you were staying here, but, well you know how it can be. This has to happen where and when Tony says right?” David looked back at Donny and Steve looked away. Donny shook his head a bit, and David lowered his eyes. That’s right Steve did not know what it was like. He was never to know. “Oh, yeah right sorry. Let’s get me cleaned up and have some dinner yeah?”

Steve nodded and left the room quickly, grabbed his coat from the hook and left the apartment just as fast. He needed some air and some time to process what the fuck just happened! He walked for a while. He needed to clear his head. 

How would he know a damn thing about the going on in the seedy part of town like the docks? What because he was a queer? Or because he was Irish he would know all the workings of the underbelly of Brooklyn? What did David mean anyhow? 

As he walked he realized he was near the place he shared with Bucky. It was safe he knew and still early Bucky would not have been home for a few hours still. Steve looked up at the large apartment block and turned his key over in his hand it was still his place.

‘It’s still my place too!’ He reasoned. ‘I just need to pick up…’ He knew he was rationalizing with himself, or worse lying to himself. ‘My other brushes, for work. Perfect. I need to get my brushes and I had to go to Bucky’s place to get them.’

He climbed the steps up the back to the building and unlocked the door. The smell poured over him like honey, it was home and he missed it here. He walked in and tripped over the rug that was kicked up, the apartment was a mess. He was right about Bucky earlier, when joking with Donny, Bucky could not keep house for shit. 

Steve couldn’t help himself; he picked up the discarded work clothes; dishes and stacked up the newspapers; He tossed the dishes in the sink, staked the paper near the window, and walked the clothes to Bucky’s bedroom to put them in the hamper. Their room was a mess too clothes tossed everywhere, ashtray over full and Bucky’s grooming stuff all over the vanity. He picked up more clothes setting them in the basket as well; then emptied the ashtray, and made the bed. This took a bit out of him he was breathing hard and had to sit down or he was likely to fall down. 

“Damn asthma.” He sat on the freshly made bed, and took a few slow breaths. The smell of the room, it still smelled of him and Bucky even days later, was comforting. After seeing David with his bruised face and Donny being so complicit in the actions that had taken place in his living room Steve was feeling overwhelmed. 

“I’ll be gone before Bucky is even home.” he murmured to himself as he laid backwards and stretched out on the bed. He took a few deeper breaths of the pillow, Bucky’s pillow. This was his home. He knew it, and he knew it would not be too long before the draw of this bed called him home for good. The anger in him was cooling from Bucky’s lie and it was settling into hurt. He knew he would have to deal with it before he could come back here forever but right now he was safe and happy.

He coughed a few times and rolled onto his side, quick and unintentionally Steve fell asleep while trying to get his traitorous lungs to work. The last thought he had was of Bucky. Coming home to him , in his memory Bucky was smiling as he came in the door from work taking off his jacket and kissing Steve hello. 

This is how Bucky fond Steve, curled up on his bed snoring and snuffling in his sleep. He smiled at the sight. This was his most precious person in this world, one he would put everything else behind, curled up looking so homey in their bed. He would murder anyone who disturbed him right now. God he loved this man.

Steve still had his jacket and braces on, but his shoes had been kicked to the floor. He was not sure what Steve was doing there, but he was grateful he still felt safe enough to come back here when he needed too. 

Bucky had taken note when he came in that someone had picked up the place, and god he missed this domestic life he shared with the man lying in his bed. This was home for him too, Steve was home for him no matter what happened, he always would be, that little blond punk, who never knew when to tuck tail and run, or when give up on a cause, when it was best for him. He covered Steve with his coat and quietly closed the door to let Steve sleep. 

 

“David, I did not bring Steve here, he came on his own. I don’t know why, but he is sleeping and was sleeping when I got home!” Steve heard the sound of Bucky’s voice, he sounded far off and garbled, but it was clearly Bucky’s. “Hey ‘m not that kinda guy! You both know better, he can leave whenever he wants; just remember, this is his home, here with me not your apartment! He can come or go from here, as he wants, when he wants, and I would never keep him here against his wishes. No matter how much I want to.” 

“Bucky, he said two weeks, why would he be here if you didn’t bring him?” That was David asking accusing? Bucky of something. Steve’s head was fuzzy still sleep addled. Steve rubbed his eyes of the sleep, looked to the clock, cussed, and got up. He felt the coat slide off of his body. He got up, folded it, and headed for the living room. It had been 6 hours according to bedroom clock. 

“You can ask him when he wakes up but from the looks of it he needed a good rest!” Bucky did not hear the door to the bedroom open or Steve come out of it.As Steve rounded the corner he saw David looking fit to be tied; he was red in face, and arms crossed, at the front door of the apartment, pointing a finger at Bucky's chest

“He said two weeks Barnes why…” He saw Steve and his face lit up some of the worry drained from it. “Steve! Are you ok?”

“Yeah David I'm fine I just needed some paint brushes for work, and seeing as you and Donny needed some time, I figured I’d pick them up, and I guess I fell asleep. Sorry Buck didn’t mean to put you out.” He rubbed his eyes again as he slid his shoes on. 

“No, Stevie this is your home. Two weeks away won’t change that, nothing will, even if we… I mean if you don’t want to keep,” he motioned between them “with me, I mean. This will be your place, and I want to be friends even if we don’t work out as more. You can come here whenever.” Buck had moved from the door as to not block Steve in. “Thank you for picking up you know I’m a mess without you.”

Steve walked to the opening and smiled at Bucky “No matter what pal I am always going to be your friend. I'm sorry if that was called in to question Bucky, Thanks for letting me sleep. I’ll see you later ok?”

“May I kiss you before you go?” He reached out for Steve but did not press the issue allowing Steve to choose. “A thanks for cleaning for me?”

“Is that a good idea Bucky?” Steve asked with a skeptical eye one eyebrow cocked “I don’t want to be bitten again.”

Bucky stepped close to Steve and leaned down to allow their foreheads to touch. “You’re right I shouldn’t have done that I’m sorry. Please keep yourself safe ok?” Steve nodded and closed the distance between their lips, he pressed a light kiss to his best friend’s mouth, it was a quick chaste kiss, but Bucky hummed and smiled when Steve pulled away. That was his baby telling him it was going to be ok. “Thank you, baby.” he whispered. Steve nodded.

Steve and David stepped out of the door when Steve turned back. He wanted to make sure to never hurt Bucky again. He needed this time but it did not have to be cruel. “Hey I’m going with Danny and the fellas to the bar down from Donny’s building tomorrow just as a heads up.”

Bucky saw red for a second, he was going on another date with Danny! But the kiss! He was a bit lost. “Why are you telling me Steve? Right after you kissed me?” He wanted to hide the malice in his voice, but it was clearly there.

“So you don’t get offended, ya know if you were going out, it will keep you from running into us. Last time we ran into each other we both got hurt. I figured this may help avoid that.” Steve frowned a bit “I am sorry for hurting you, and I love you Bucky I just need this time. I don’t set out to hurt you; so maybe this will help. Show you that honesty is the best way, and talkin’ keeps us working out as a couple. Just, I told you 2 weeks, but Buck I am trying to look out for you still but I need this for me. Ok?”

“Thanks Pal.” Bucky tried to understand. He knew the wounds he left with his lies left were deep. “Ok, thanks for letting me know.” 

With that Steve left with David and headed back to Donny’s place. “You are going back to him aren’t you?”

“Yeah David. He is Home for me” Steve stared at the pavement outside of the car. 

“Then why wait? I see it in the way you looked at him? What’s with Danny and this pulling at him like this?” David opened the door for Steve and he climbed in the large car. David got in the driver side and headed off toward home.

“I need Bucky to respect me as a man who can do without him. That large choices need to be made together and lying to me is never ok.” Steve huffed. “That his lies have consequences, and this time it is time apart. They hurt me and hurt my faith in him. I never want to doubt him, but I don’t want him to doubt I can and will be without him if he pushes me to be. Its killing me honestly. I want to run back and lay in that bed all night. To be close to him and love on him. Like you and Donny are going to do tonight or have done. My pride just won’t let me yet. This may not last 2 full weeks but it needs to be more than 2 days.”

“Well Donny will be happy you’re ok; he had me out here looking for you like a lost puppy!” David laughed “just be careful ok, with Danny or anyone else these few weeks.”

“I’ll try but I'm not as fragile as Buck makes me sound.” He smiled at David. 

“In that I have no doubt.” David huffed and punched the gas to go home for dinner. “I'm more worried about the men then you.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky left the apartment; he was going to deal with Danny long before tomorrow. Steve was his and he warned Danny as much. Words didn’t work so…a more physical warning was needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Steve is being a bit of a little shit about Bucky. This is not a dig as him as a character, or Steve bashing, it is suppose to show his faults and his humanity. It will get better about it as his pain fades, and he comes to terms with his love for Bucky.
> 
> Thank you for all the support, comments and Kudos you have all been so kind to give. I love hearing from you so please keep it up!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He flung the front door open and saw the slight man breathing hard. “David needs you at Donny’s place right now; its life or death he said" 
> 
> Bucky’s eyes went dark he slipped his shoes back on and yanked his coat on as he ran with the man. Steve was at the apartment. ‘It’s not Steve . Bucky said to himself. ‘This is David’s place its him or Donny. Its fine just a mess to clean up.’ Bucky told himself over and over as he ran. ‘Just a mess to clean up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its always darkest before the dawn, sadly in this chapter its true. This chapter ends on a very dark note it is necessary to the story. I’m warning you in advance. I hope you enjoy it there are more notes at the end. Also I want to say thank you for an amazing beta reader Natfakrbeaut. Thank you honey you’re the best!

The night past quietly for Bucky, he was seething quietly, he didn’t want to hurt Danny, but he was not going to let it pass either. He had warned Danny; told him Steve was his. Anything Steve and Danny got up to be that one night only and then Danny was to shove off! Now Steve is seeing him again, and on a fucking date, that Danny set up! Bucky was going to have words with Danny before the date and send him on his way, one way or another. But for now, he will sit here in their apartment and read a bit of his book and seethe. 

He fell asleep in the arm chair with his book fallen against his chest. He loved this chair, the one he normally plopped his ass down in after a hard day’s work. He would have spoken with Steve while Steve was cookin’ dinner or cleaning up his art supplies and told him about the office drama or made plans for the weekend. Bucky loved this chair, but sadly, sleeping in the damn thing, caused a crook in his neck. 

He puffed out a sigh as he rubbed his neck and looked at the clock; He was due at the office in an hour for some paperwork. ‘Paperwork.’ He laughed aloud to himself, but got up and put on a clean suit and left quickly. He needed to talk with David about Danny and Steve’s ‘date’ before work started. He disliked talking about his relationships at work but no time to do it before they were both due in the office.

Bucky had gotten in to the firms building just on time to start a normal day of bookkeeping and busy office work. The position he held in David’s finance firm was bookkeeper, and most days that’s all Bucky did. He kept the day to day expenses of the office, and the invoices for the company cost of operations filed properly. 

Filed properly, meant he sorted what was; legit investment company work, and what was Tony’s off the books work. The above-board stuff got given to the office manager to deal with. Tony’s work got filed and handled by Bucky directly. He was the pass though for all the firm’s paperwork, making sure what needed David’s approval or that Tony’s work went through without prying eyes. He also kept the second set of books for David hidden away so they would not be stubbled on by the other office workers. It was grunt work, but it paid well and kept him, and Steve fed and cared for. There was sometimes extra work for extra pay of course. Strong arm work is what David called it, but mostly it was standing and looking menacing as he spoke to people for Tony’s dock workers. 

“Hey James, boss needs to see you.” Amber said as she filed passed him to the coffee maker to put on another pot. 

“Thanks Doll.” he smiled at her and got up; he headed to David’s office. It was a bit early for a sit down the runners had not brought in the nights work yet. He was not done sorting last night’s drops, but the overnights were still out. Hell, who knew these days what David wanted; Bucky knew he had some extra work tonight, maybe this was a walkthrough of the job. He headed for David’s office and smiled at the other office worker Amy as he passed her, a dark red headed woman with bright green eyes and an amazing rack. She grinned back.

“Barnes, come in, close the door.” Bucky smiled and closed the door as he sat down across from David. “We need to talk about Steve.”  
Bucky raised and eyebrow and drops the smile. ‘Shit!’ This is not a conversation he wanted to have here. His life was not a company topic. “What do you mean about Steve? Is something wrong with my pal?” 

“He was at the apartment last night when we were talking to Norman about the dock workers. He seemed upset about it when he left, and you found him at your place. He wanted to get away from it so much he went to a place he ran from not three days prior! I need to know he is not going to be trouble Barnes.” This was David talking about his Steve like he was some kinda rat! 

“David what are you ask’n me? Are you worried Steve will talk or somethin’?” He knew how Tony dealt with talkers, it wasn’t good. At best he would set an example of them, last guy they burned a hole through his tongue with a hot iron, the guy damn near died of shock, at worst Steve would be killed outright.

“I know how he views bullies, and his views on the family are well known. We left him alone and I got most of the people on the streets steering clear of him, mostly for your sake. I convinced Tony you had him under control and long as you guys were living together he wouldn’t cause trouble. You’re not with him right now though, and if he starts making noise. Barnes… it won’t end well for either of you.” 

David was being kind and honest with the heads up; most trouble makers where just disposed of, no warning. “You’re not part of the family just an employee, and some things are family matters, Bucky don’t make this a family matter.”

‘So much for asking for David’s help’ Bucky thought. 

“I won’t! You know Steve and I will work it out we always do. Once he’s outta Donny’s place he won’t see it anymore. I can keep him clear of our day to day.” He was confident because he had to be. David needed to see Bucky dealing with this level headed.

“Is there anything I can do to help that along, the getting Steve outta Donny’s? I like Steve, he is a standup guy; I even like you, when you’re not a compete jack ass.” David visibly relaxed and poured a shot of rum for them both. He had finished the business end of his talk and could relax with Bucky for a few moments before having to be his boss again.

“Depends, can you delay Steve tomorrow before his date?” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Delay?” David leaned back in his chair at bit “What do you mean delay?”

“I just need ten minutes with Danny. I warned that creep last time he and Steve were together, but the man didn’t seem to take my warnings to heart. Its time he did. I don’t want Steve to see me there or Danny for that matter. Can you stall him for 10 or so, just give me time for a face to face with the guy.” Bucky looked at David damn near pleading.

“I can delay him sure, but if this blows up its on you!” David smiled. And Bucky nodded.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A few hours later.

“Donny?” Steve called from the other side of the bathroom door “Come on hurry up I gotta take a piss.”  
“I'm in a bath Steve just hold it or go down to the public bathroom on the first floor.” Steve heard the water shift in the tub and he huffed. 

“You have been in there a hour now! The water is cold and your pruned. Don’t make me walk all that way to take a leek!” Steve complained he was fighting a losing battle, no answer from the bathroom, so he just sighed and headed out the door to go down to the first floor. 

“Steve!” David smiled as he passed the blond man in the hall “Where are you headed? Thought we were goin’ out tonight?” David worried he would not be able to stall Steve after all. He looked fit to be tied.

“Donny is hoggin’ the apartment’s bathroom; ‘m headed to one to use the common one, tell ‘m I’ll be right back.” Steve talked and walked fast.

“Yeah kid, that’s my guy, always taken too long at everything. See you upstairs” David hurried up to shoo his guy from the bathroom. He needed to stall him as well, and though Steve may be easy to delay Donny was not, at least when he put his mind to something. He wanted to go out, so he was getting ready early. Fuck!

“Hey baby I’m home!” David called from the door. but got no answer. He knew where he was but called out anyway “Donavan, where are you?”

He saw the bathroom door open and took in the sight, his guy dripping wet and wrapped in a thin, silk bathrobe. It was stuck to his skin from the water and open a bit in the front.

“I was in a bath; till Steve started whining.” He walked to David, who seemed transfixed at the sight of him and smiled coyly. “Hey hot stuff wants to show your fella a good time?” He let the robe fall open a bit more and gave a grin that curled David’s toes. Then wiggled his index finger to pull David in to him so they were front to front.

“Steve will be back in a minute.” David said but it fell flat, then kissed Donny hard and fiery. He really could give a good god damn honestly where Steve was at this very moment, but he should really take this to the bedroom. “We should...” His train of thought derailed when Donny ran his warm hand up his thigh and to his hip. “we should go… to” and Donny tutted at him and slowly inched toward the fly on David’s pants.

“We should fuck right here; like I know you want to, and have that little brat catch us.” Donny whispered, squeezing a bit at David’s thickening dick, “See, I knew getting caught in the act, did things to you baby.” 

Donny unzipped David’s fly and pulled out his dick though his pants. “So hard already, and how would you feel if I told you I am as ready for you; as you were for me? ‘m all open and wanting.” David’s dick jumped again “Yeah thought so sit back lover let me have you.” 

Donovan pushed his lover back onto the couch and looked him up and down as he slowly lowered himself to his knees. Running his hand up and down David’s thighs. “I know he is leaving soon, and I know the thought of him seeing us fucking excites you. So just enjoy ok?” 

This was not the delay he was thinking about when he promised a delay, but honestly, he stopped thinking the moment Donny sank his lips over his cock. Donny took him all the way to the base and kitten licked his balls. “Fuck!” his breath whooshed out of him as he pulled his hand up to rest on Donny’s shoulders. 

“That’s the plan” Donny murmured as he pulled off him and smiled against his dick; then bobbed back down. He gave a few good sucks getting David all the way hard and slithered into him lap. 

“You want this lover?” He hovered his hole over David’s lap teasing him “You know that little punk is probably headed up the stairs now, and you didn’t even lock the door.” He lowered himself down onto David, moaning a bit, till he was fully seated on David’s lap. “God baby! Fuck you feel so god damn good!” 

David gasped and nodded fuck yeah, he wanted it. It was not Steve in particular he wanted to watch them, but he loved showing Donny off, and the fear of it being with a man was taboo, and that did things to David he did not care to explain. 

Donny still had the robe on and if someone didn’t look to close, they looked fully dressed. It looked like Donny was just sitting on David’s lap. A person could not see what they were doing. David had just his dick out enough to fuck into to his guy. They were kissing as Donny bounced in small slow stokes. This is how Steve found them.

“Oh, I see now you come out!” Steve smiles and David’s eyes go wide. He means to move but Steve rounds the corner and sits on the chair across from them. He takes note of how they are positioned, and stutters. He’s not sure if they are doing what it looks like but he’s not sure he wants to know either.  
” Um should I go?” he could not see how far along the two were, but he knew enough of Donny to know this was going to get messy soon.

 

“No!” David squeaked, he coughed and then, “No.” more firmly. “Stay right there Steve.” Donny rocked forward, and it was David’s turn to moan.

“Oh fuck!” Donny lifted up on his knees and let the robe slip a bit off his shoulders; he groaned as he slipped back taking David in more “He wants you to watch us Stevie. It gets him all hot and bothered. Knowing someone see his deviant side” he picked up the pace a bit more rocking now than bouncing. 

“Donny I…“Steve meant to leave; he started to stand, but David leaned in to grab Donny under the arms and snake his hands around his back to rest his hands on Donny’s shoulder tops. He pulled his chest to David chest and thrust into him hard; glancing over Donny’s shoulders to lock eyes with Steve. Without looking away he bit into Donny’s neck hard. Donny melted into David and yelled into the bite; he pushed his body down to meet David’s thrust up.

Steve could not see anything honestly just Donny’s naked back and David’s arms. The robe covered everything else. Steve had to admit his two friends were hot as fuck just a tease of the actions they were performing, and he was getting hard watching a live show.  
\---------------------------------------------------------  
Bucky waited near the door to the bar; he knew the window he had for ‘talking’ to Danny would be small, and he did not Steve seeing him here or worse risk Steve seeing Danny after the conversation. He smoked, and chatted with a cute blond girl just passing time. He was off women or anyone that was not Steve. No more fooling around for him. He saw Oliver and Danny stroll up to the bar talking back and forth they did not see him “Hey thanks for the chat doll face but I gotta take care of something.” He smiled his award-winning James B Barnes smile.

“Anytime sugar.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek and strolled into the bar.

Bucky pushed off the wall to cut two men off mid stride they were no more than 10 feet from the bar doors, but they did not notice him still. He smirked to himself. Dumb ass got no self-preservation. 

“Danny!” He called out and Danny looked up; his eyes got large and he took a few steps back away from Oliver. Bucky stepped up to the pair and smiled. Danny looked as if he might bolt “Relax I am just here to talk, for now. Oliver this does not concern you; unless you think you want to make it.” 

Oliver took a minute to consider and looked at Danny “That little punk ain’t worth getting your teeth knocked in. No offence Barnes.” Bucky did not take any. 

If Oliver could make Danny see reason, then Bucky would not have to. “How would you explain to Maggie if you got hurt like this? Chasing some guys dick?”

Danny looked at Barnes and back at Oliver. “I care about him you know that, right?” Danny looked at Bucky. His eyes were honest if not a bit worried. “He ain’t just a nice ass to me now.”

“Yes, I do, and I am here to give you a way out. A way that won’t end, like your friend said, with your teeth all over the concrete. I don’t want to be the bad guy here, please don’t make me.” Bucky stepped closer. Then it hit him Oliver said Maggie…wife? “Hold up…who is Maggie?” 

Danny shrugs “No one you need to worry about. Does Steve know you’re here; chasing me off?”

“No, does Maggie know you’re here fuckin’ guys while she sits at home with the kids?” Danny looks up at him shocked. How does he know that? 

“How?” but Danny snaps his mouth closed hard and rolled his eyes at himself. ‘You just told me’ that’s how. “No, she does not know I am gay; we are catholic it would… not be good for her, or anyone, to know.”

“If you leave here, right now, and stop trying to see him, I’ll let you go. No questions no mess, we all win. Stay here tonight, you and I will have a personal issue after. I warned you Sunday; that little punk is mine. Your friend is right, for you, he ain’t worth it.” 

Bucky stepped back to give Danny to room to deliberate over his choice “Also, you don’t know him like I know him, but he won’t stay with you, if he finds out you’re married. Against his moral code or some bullshit.”

Danny thinks about it for a moment and gets a bit brave. He sizes Bucky up and spits out “What if I tell him what your doin? Will he stay with you? We both lose that way.” 

Danny knows he is playing a dangerous game here. Bucky Barnes is a loved member of the community, but he is known to knock the hell outta anyone who hurts Steve. It’s up to him how ‘hurt Steve’ is defined. Danny sees clearly that Bucky will define telling Steve as hurting him.

He steps into Danny’s personal space with one giant step, and rests his hand on Danny’s cheek patting a few times, “Do you think playing it this way is wise? You may care for him fine I’ll give you that, but I love ‘m. Telling him I was here will make this worse for everyone. I don’t want to be that guy; you know that guy who hurts people who hurt him. I keep tellin’ you that I have asked you not to push me to be, but don’t take my kindness for weakness, I’m not above it for Steve. Please, walk away go home to Maggie and the kids.”

Danny looks to Oliver and back to Bucky. “If you hurt him or he leaves you, all bets are off Barnes. I’ll leave but only because I won’t hurt him like this. I won’t show him the monster, we both know you are, just to keep him. Just take care of him ‘cause I will be watching.”

“I always do. Thanks, I can’t lose him, and you got a deal if we don’t work out; I won’t tell him about the family. I’ll keep your secret, but know you should tell him if that day ever comes. He won’t take being lied to, or hidden away. He is not a dirty secret for anyone, or a rough trade.” Bucky shakes Danny’s hand. 

“I know that. Do you?” Danny shakes Bucky’s hand back and looks at him grimly. “Steve is a man, simple as that, and wants to be treated like a man. It’s what I like about him; so treat him like one not a kid or a issue you need to care for!”  
That hit Bucky hard in the chest as he walked away from Oliver. 

“Sorry to leave you high and dry but…” Danny said to Oliver as he turned to leave. 

“Please go, I like your teeth.” he patted his friend on the back and went into the bar.

When Donny and David finished their little show for Steve, Steve came with a small sigh not long after David did nearly screaming. They looked a bit sheepishly at each other, cleaned up and agreed for everyone’s wellbeing to never bring that up again. Donny found it funny them both being so prudish, but Steve and David were not as amused. 

“We were just caught in the moment.” David says trying to save some face, and not at all wanting it to seem he was ashamed of his kink being on display for Steve to see. 

“Yeah and who’s going to pass up a live show like that. I just…” Steve looks at the floor. He was just glad there was not more to see. Both of the guys were handsome just… “You two are more like family to me so let’s just not do that again ok?” David nods quickly but Donny scoffs and heads from the bathroom to bedroom to get dressed for their night out.

“Won’t matter much after we get there, Stevie you got bigger fish to fry. Danny’s waiting on us. Well, he is waiting on you.” Donny leaves his room talking and walking, in slacks and vest in striking blue with a lighter blue button down. He softens David’s sharp, black, pin stripes.

“I would not put all my eggs in that basket kid.” David says without missing a beat. “Danny’s a great guy and all, but there are a lot of fish in the sea. You only got two weeks to fish. If that little show back at Barnes place was honest you don’t seem to want something serious anyhow.”

“Yeah, you’re both right, we will see how it goes tonight, but Danny is not a forever thing just a right now thing. I'm always honest Bucky knows that we are till the end of the line. I want to be with him I just want him to be more open about us; if there is ever going to hope for long term.” He looks exacerbated then straightens up and looks at the pair. 

“Are we ready to go?” David asks to the two men.

“As I will ever be.” Steve says sweeping his hair to one side. 

Donny starts ribbing Steve about being able to ride that boy again after Sunday’s adventure. Giving him hell about not being able to sit down yesterday let alone walk upright. Steve gets a bit touchy. “I am just fine thank you very much! Not that my ass hole should be any matter of yours Donovan.”

“Oh, its of matter of mine, I would never hear the end of it from Bucky if it got hurt too badly!” Donny smiles; Steve rolls his eyes. David just watches the exchange of the younger men with a fondness he often fines when around his guy. He may have to be married and have kids, but this is where his heart  
is.  
David is just lucky he doesn’t have to lie to have this; at least not to his family. They all know who and what he is, and get it. As long as there is no one getting hurt and he does not go to jail over it they don’t care. 

Bucky watches from some ways back as the trio enter the bar. He saw Danny depart no more than 20 minutes ago, so he knows he should head home. He wants, so badly, to go in the bar, to watch Steve to have a drink maybe see him dance, but he made a promise. ‘Not this time.’ he thinks; he is going to be good this time for Steve. He heads toward the Docks he has a job to do anyway. 

Bucky wanted to get Steve a full set of new art supplies, from paints, brushes, to charcoal sets and drawing books. This job would let him do all of that and then some, so he drugs himself away, and let Steve be safe in David and Donny’s care. They would keep him outta trouble. 

Tony needed him to pull some of the crates from a ship; without being seen by dock hands, and get it loaded into a truck. He then needed to switch labels on the crates for the ones he pinched two days back. 

Tony had the dock watchman tied up with other matters when Bucky got to the ship to load up. Two of the Dockhands loaded the goods in the truck, and Bucky paid them ten dollars each to walk away. No questions asked. Now the exotic, expensive wine is labeled as cheap furniture polish from England. The reason for the change of labels is if the truck was stopped, the tariff would be small as a few dollars. Not the hundreds this stuff would normally run. Tony gets the best wine, and pays pennies for it.

Tony may control the docks but dodging taxes can be tricky, shoot outs are showy. So, this is the best way tactically to get illegal or expensive goods off the ships. If the shipment had come in the daylight hours, and of course it hadn’t, they could have paid the stevedores to take care of the label swap and truck drop, but bad luck happens even to the Family. This was the best option.

Bucky got paid two hundred dollars for this simple job even counting the twenty he had to pay the dock workers to unload. He was over the moon as he left the wharf and drove to the drop spot. Hell, he didn’t even need to talk to anyone just drop the truck off in a back lot and tuck the keys under the rim of the front tire.  
He takes his earnings and heads to a smaller bar not far from his place. It’s not the one Steve is at but he’s not more than two blocks away. He has a few drinks and chats up a tiny blond thing near the bar. She has the prettiest green eyes he has ever seen, and her hair is long but pulled back and curled. He buys a few drinks and takes her for a few turns on the dance floor. He has no interest in her offer to go back to her place and begs off saying, “Sorry Doll I gotta work in the morning. Some other time?” 

Bucky knows he might have taken her up on it any other day, but he is determined to change how he’s seen and wants Steve to see he has. It’s enough to be seen enjoying his earnings and playing it straight; he does not have to go back to her place and risk doing something he will enjoy but regret or worse have to lie about.

She sits on his lap and flirts more until he decides to call it a night.  
The trio of men enter the bar and see Oliver with his blazing red hair sitting at the bar. “Donny! Steve over here.” The bar was not as packed, but it was payday for many, so it was more crowed then a normal weeknight. 

“Oli!” Donny called back and navigated Steve by the shoulders to the table being held for the group. “Hey we’re one short! Where is your buddy?” 

Oli’s eyes flick to Steve, then to David, and then rest on Donny “He is at home, changed his mind about going out.” Donny raised an eyebrow. He was standing where Steve couldn’t see his face, the open question left in the air. Oliver steeled his nerves and continued “He said, he needed time with the family.” Donny felt Steve go ridged under his hands.

“Family?” Steve spit out like it was a filthy word “As in?” The look of shock on his face was so clear you could see it from the door.

“Steve, Danny is married. Family as in… a wife and kids who don’t know about his other wants.” Oli answered slowly; as if talking to a child or a spooked animal. He knew he was betraying his friend, but in Oli’s mind he was protecting Danny more than betraying him, and Oli had seen a fight where Bucky had gone to town on a man who hurt Steve Rogers. 

“You were fun for ‘m., but that is all men are for…fun. It doesn’t mean anything to him, and he never comes back for a second time round.” Oliver knew this was a lie too, but again he liked his friend’s teeth, face, and him being alive.

Steve looked injured and angry at the same time; Steve seemed to be able to manage both emotions simultaneously . “He’s fucking married!?” He normally deep voice gone shrill. 

David looked offended, a bit, but realized what was going on really fast. “Steve, you know a lot of us fellas are married, like me. Most of the wives know and you don’t know what understandings there are there! Oliver may not even know if Danny is protectin’ his family.”

“He told me to look him up, if Bucky and I don’t work out! How is that just fun Oliver? He asked me to come around and see him. He was looking for a ‘second round’.” Steve spat out. “He lied to me, just like Bucky does! Are all men just lying sleaze?” Steve was red in the face and his hands were white knuckled, he’s had it with liars! For fuck sake that was why he was here after all! Damn it Danny knew that. He knew what Bucky had done and said!  
“Steve, honey, you’re doing it again. People are staring. Sit down!” Donny took his hand and pulled Steve into the chair next to him. “Fuck him! He was just some fun, you said so to me yesterday. Bucky is it for you and you know it. Would you have told Danny that?”

“I did tell him as much, Hell Bucky probably told him as much when I wasn’t lookin’.” David looked a bit taken back. Steve smiled like a shark. “You think I don’t know David? You think I am blind? I know Bucky warns people off me! Scares them if he has to. So Yes, Donny, I would have reminded tonight, again, if I had to. I hate people who lie like that! It was unnecessary I did not care about being a one-off fuck, but he knew who I was with and who Donny was with!”

Steve took a deep breath shook his head and tried to calm himself down “You’re right David I don’t know what’s going on in their home, but he did not need to lie about it. I would have understood! Hell, for a one off I would not have cared if he was not tellin’ her I was not keeping him!”

The waiter came to the table and got a round of drinks started nodding at David in a knowing look. This was a place David kept a tab and paid off weekly. “Just let this go ok. He is not worth it. Just a mook who thought playing queer is a past time.” Oli said. “He has never had a committed relationship with a man ever.”

Steve took a few breaths and tried to cool down. “Anyway, Stevie you said you was looking for new anyhow. How is Danny’s dick new? You road that like a champ not two days ago. Still smarts I bet.” Donny cajoled.

“Yeah, your right, it’s not like I was going to date him. I'm just fed up with the liars.” They drank the night way Steve danced with Donny, David, even Oli just for the fun of it. It helped him forget Danny and the whole lame start to the night. 

“It’s getting late guys ‘m going to call it an evening.” Oli said first. “Thanks for the drinks and dancing’” He smiled at the couple and gave Steve a small hug. 

“Had a great time Oli see you later.” Steve said and turned to the others at the table. “Are we headed out too?”

“Yeah, we should, I gotta check on something from here, meet you back at the apartment?” David asked Donny and smiled.

“Sure baby, I’ll drag our little spitfire home; he can keep me warm till you get there.” Steve rolled his eyes but nodded and headed out with Donny. He assumed David was settling up the tab so Steve did not ask.

“Sorry about earlier.” Steve said sheepishly as they walked out of the bar, and started the short walk home. “I really need to get a check on my temper, Bucky said it’ll get me killed one day.”

“He is not wrong. You really got it going there for a minute in the bar, glad it did not ruin the night. What’s the plan tomorrow?” Donny asked as he and Steve continued walking slowly no hurry to their steps.

“I gotta finish that proof and then I got some sign painting to do for McCurdy in the afternoon. Gotta pay my way and all. I left most of my money with Bucky to cover rent this month.”  
“You know as long as you’re with us you ain’t got to pay for shit right?” Donny puffed up he was offended his guest thought he owed him anything. 

“Yeah but it will help to bring something back with me when I go home. I hate Bucky having to deal with paying my way.” He hung his head.

“I could tell David to pay him more.” They both laughed and slowly walked up the steps to Donny’s apartment. “I have my ways to persuade him.” He waggled his eyebrows in a funny manner to imply his wiles as a love and grinned.

“You mean Tony?” Steve asked without blinking, doing a rolled eyes kinda sly smile. Donny gapped like a fish for a second but smiled back. Two could play this game.

“No, what do you mean Tony?” Donny asked fake dumbly. 

“Donovan, I heard Bucky in the living room of your place the other night. I have lived with him, as part of my life for years and years, you think I didn’t know who was talking too?” Steve huffed he hated people thinking he was stupid.

“He makes too much to be just a clerk, sometimes works late, very late, and gets called into work at the drop of a hat, never says no. I think I always knew something was up with his “job”. The last bit for me, was David just admitted he works for Tony, and Bucky works for David. So for David to pay Bucky more he would have to get it from Tony, yeah?” 

Donny nodded as he got inside “You can’t talk to Bucky about this you see? He don’t want you to know it at all. Says you will freak out, he is a clerk most of the time honestly; Say 99%, but there are extras that get handed down to David that he shares with Bucky. Easy things, like looking like muscle or driving a truck from the docs.” Steve looks a little green around the gills. He hates to think of Bucky being involved in this.

Donny sits Steve on the couch and pulls him onto his lap trying to be reassuring and protective at the same time. “Never killin’ or beating on someone. Bucky won’t do that, said he don’t like forcing people with violence. David is Bucky’s boss and the one who pays him, so he can keep the darker stuff away from Bucky, and he does sometimes at cost to David’s well being. Bucky does not know how far in David is, and David likes it that way.” Steve listened quietly as Donny talked.

“You will put Bucky and David in a spot if you make an issue about this, outside of our talk now. Bucky has assured people you don’t know anything and will never know anything, so it keeps you safe 100%. If that is leaked that you know anything about the who’s, what’s, or how’s it could be used against David or Bucky, or worse get you or them killed.”

Steve nodded he understood some of what this meant. Donny was trying to teach him what his place was now he knew about David and Bucky. He was trying to explain how to keep everyone safe. 

“What if Bucky wants out? Wants to do something else?” Steve would try to talk him out of this to get him to walk away.

“Baby short of draft or death you don’t get to walk away. There are costs to that, even someone so far removed as Buck would have to pay, painful costs. Unless they don’t know what he does for David.” Donny stokes Steve’s arms “It will be ok. We just gotta remember; these are dangerous times for all folks like us, and danger creates strange bedfellows.”

Steve nodded he got it, but he did not like it. He was going to find a way to get Bucky out.  
“Left the truck ‘n the lot” Bucky said to David as he sat down at the table.

“Thank you, Bucky. Any word on what your going to do with your issue?” David asked softly into his scotch. He did not want to say Steve’s name here it was not a safe place to have this type of talk.

“Did he stay gone?” Bucky asked also in a hushed tone. “I warned him to stay away. Did he listen?”

“Yep and his buddy did you a solid, he told Steve about the family. Even if he comes back, Steve won’t talk with ‘im because him being a liar.” David nods his head as he talks

Bucky nods as well, good that Oliver did that. It was not something Bucky was willing to do. There were some lines he would not cross. Sure, He would threaten to tell them, but it was just not done that could end a man’s life literally.

“You know, if my employer knew how ruthless you were, he would snatch you up so fast. He’s always looking for…” he stops talking. David knows Bucky is only this way when it comes to Steve, and if Tony knew they were queer; both David and Bucky would be well and truly perished.

“The drive was no issue?” David changed topics fast not wanting to linger. Tony considered Bucky David’s Man, not part of the Family but an associate of it, and if Bucky fucked up it was on David.

“Nope took care of the payments, and switched the tags, its free and clear.” Bucky smiled, “Quick and easy money.”

“Ok.” David handed Bucky sum of cash nearly 30 more dollars than the agreed on two hundred. “Extra is for being quick and smart about it. So, shall we talk about your plan to get your lover back?”  
-  
“I have a plan.” Bucky waggled his eyes and smiled. “It’s called being honest and hoping for the best.”

 

“That’s not smart, in fact that is the worst plan ever! Gimme back my money! Thought you had more brains than that Barnes!” they both laughed and finished their drinks. 

“Honestly though David I'm done lying, at least to him about things. We need to have a better plan to work around the issues we got. But lying ain’t going to be a part of it no more.” Bucky looked earnest in his words. He meant it they were going to talk this out and he would not lie anymore. 

“With a spit fire like that; you got your hands full.” David stood up and made to leave.

“David can you deliver this please; it’s for my spit fire.” Bucky handed David a small package with an envelope on it.

David took the small package and headed for the door as Bucky followed. “Sure Barnes. G’Night.”  
“Donny!” Steve hollers from the hallway. “Come on I need to go! For fuck sake you took a bath before we left!”  
“I’m not in the tub I’m washing my face and brushing my teeth jeeze.” he let Steve into the bath room as he headed for the bedroom.

“Come in to the room when your done. David is going to be a bit and its god damn cold.” Donny croaked from the hall as he patted his face dry. It wasn’t that cold Steve thought, but Donny was a cuddler and Steve missed the warmth of a body next to his. He wasn’t going to turn down the offer. He had missed it enough to put an end to this he thought to himself.

He decided that he was going to go talk to Bucky tomorrow, he was ready to go home. They had a lot to talk about, but he missed his man, it was time. “Yeah, yeah.” Steve groused and slid the door closed. 

A moment later there was a loud thump on the door to the apartment; “David!” an unfamiliar voice bellowed; followed by a seconded bang that splinted the wood, and then a third slam and the door crashed open.

Donny screamed from the hallway, just outside of the bedroom, after the two men stormed into the living room, and hollered “David Marks?” 

Donny shook his head from where he was standing he was frozen in fear, still in his pink bathrobe and slippers. The larger of the two looked Donny over and then back to his partner. “This must be his fairy! Come here rent boy!”

“Just as good. Sends same message.” The smaller uglier of the two commented then they ran toward Donny in hall. Donny bolted to bedroom to lock them out. The goons got to the bathroom at the mouth of the hall as Donny got the bedroom door closed and locked. 

Steve opened the bathroom at the same second yelling “What the holy hell!” He saw the first man banging on the bedroom door; trying to get it open. The second man grabbed Steve up fast, and pinned him to the wall adjacent to the bathroom and held him by the throat. “Shut your yap!” 

“Hey! Maybe this one is his too?” one brute asked the other, and he started shaking Steve. Steve kicked out hard and caught the guy in the knee. “Ouch! You fucking queer!” he smacked Steve hard and spun him fast to face the wall mashing he face into the wall paper. 

“Don’t matter if they are or not. Boss said show David what happens when he pushes out of his own back yard, this fucker will do.” The larger man stopped banging on the door and turned to his partner and Steve.

They proceeded to kick the ever loving shit out of Steve. They took turns punching, slapping and spiting on him. The one holding him up, kept choking him till he finally lost consciousness, and then dropped him on the floor. The larger, darker, man kicked him in the ribs and stomach a few times; then lifted his head up by the hair to inspect the damage. He slapped him hard one more time and let his face connect with the floor hard for good measure stepping on the back of his head and ground his face into the floor. Steve did not move. 

Donny never left his room; though he could hear Steve yelling for help and crying out. He never went to help his friend. He never opened the door; he just cowered in the corner of the room.

“We ain’t supposed to kill him! Damn it stop! Leave the note and let’s go!” the shorter man took an envelope from his jacket and dropped it on Steve’s body, and the two left.  
Steve was in heap on the floor of the hallway bleeding profusely and not moving. The large men ran out and the apartment went quiet apart from Steve’s labored breaths that gurgled out and the sobbing coming from Donny’s room. 

Donny opened the door to the bedroom after he heard nothing for a few minutes and ran to Steve’s broken form. Steve started gasping, and choking as he came too, his face was black and blue, both eyes were swollen mostly shut, blood was pouring from his broken nose, the gash on his scalp and the split lip. It was a horror show. 

“Stay put babe; its ok we will get you a doc. Don’t move!” guilt was kicking his ass. “I’m sorry I should have done something.” he hollered to the now broken in front door. “Send for the Doctor.” He could see his neighbors just staring in the now shattered wooden door. 

“What the hell… shit! Donny?! Steve! Fuck Steve!” David came running in the apartment after he herded the people, who talking around in the hallway, away from the door. They were looking in but had not yet walked past the threshold. 

“Donny what the hell happened?” David asked as he got to the hall and looked Steve over as coughed up a lot of blood. 

Steve heard the noises, but was not tracking who was talking. He was in so much pain he could not tell the fight had ended; he could feel hands on him, so he still he tried to kick and yell to lash out at those hurting him. 

“Relax Steve! It’s just us; we are going to move you to the bed.” Steve stilled at the sound of Donny’s voice. He felt the hands gently slide under his badly mangled leg and his back that was on horror of pain and bruises.

“Two guys came in looking for you, said something about your own back yard and wanted to leave a message.” Donny turned and picked up the paper they had tossed on top of Steve. 

“David set him down gently and call a Doctor and Bucky!” Donny sounded a bit panicked. His guilt plain on his face. He should have done more.

David laid Steve down on his side gently and grabbed the note from Donny and walked out of the room to do as he was asked. This was his fault, they had come for him and now Steve was hurt, maybe dying from all the blood he was losing. David was furious. 

Donny gathered clean washcloths, wet them and came in to clean the blood off Steve’s face. A few of the other men and woman from the building came in to help any way they could. They gathered hot water and bandages. Took turns holding Steve’s non-broken hand and talking softly too him.

In less than 20 minutes two things were clear, Steve was in serious trouble even with the Doctor, and Bucky was going to kill someone when he found out. 

David read the note as he walked outside to do as Donny asked; said next time it will be you, and your widow notified, so stay the fuck out of the parks. David crushed to note in his hand and sent one of the men from across the hall to get Bucky and the man’s lover to get the doctor. Told them he would let them off on rent for a month if they were fast!  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Bucky had just gotten home and taken off his shoes and over coat when the knock came. It was a fast bang and it made him jump.

He flung the front door open and saw the slight man breathing hard. “David needs you at Donny’s place right now; its life or death he said.” 

Bucky’s eyes went dark he slipped his shoes back on and yanked his coat on as he ran with the man. Steve was at the apartment. ‘It’s not Steve . Bucky said to himself. ‘This is David’s place its him or Donny. Its fine just a mess to clean up.’ Bucky told himself over and over as he ran. ‘Just a mess to clean up.’

The two men reached the apartment at the same time the doctor did. Bucky knew him, Dr. Smith. It was not his real name but the name he used when he treated the neighborhood queers and pro’s. He was not as expensive and was one of the few willing to come down to this area. He also tended to family needs from time to time. 

“Bucky what are you doing here?” the older doctor asked as he headed up the steps with his bag. 

“David and Donny are friends, so I came quick as I could, and Steve is staying with them for a bit. Can’t hurt to have a hand around if things get messy.” Bucky said helping carry the mans bag. He had done this when Dr. Smith came to see Steve ever winter. 

“How is Steve doing?” Doctor asked as they got to the final floor.

“Good no lung issues yet this year. Thank the good lord” There was a crowd outside of the apartment just looking in and whispering things like ‘Might need to call a priest.’ or ‘Shit that’s a lot of blood.’

“No calling the church until I say so.” Dr. Smith joked and pushed passed. Many of the crowd were patting Bucky and saying sorry. He didn’t get it Donny and David were friends and there was no one dead or anything.

They got into the apartment and David greeted to Doctor first and held Bucky back. “Whatever it takes spear no cost. Fix this, it’s a family matter now.” Was all David said to the doctor “He’s in the back room. Please just help him. Donny will get anything you need from the pharmacy.”

It clicked for Bucky that second, Donny was walking and talking, and David was right here. The doctor was here for Steve and it was a family matter now. Bucky turned to David there was a rage in his face that David had never seen. 

“If he dies I will kill any man who touched him. Tell me what happened.” He was shaking but he knew he would need to be calm for Steve and the doctor. Best he could do right now is wait; he wants to be in the room with Steve so badly he has to hold on to David to keep from running in, but he would just be in the way; he could wait until the doctor could look Steve over. He saw the hall way and they were right; it was a lot of blood 

David relayed what he knew, gave Bucky the note and a strong drink. “Bucky, I am so sorry I should have been here; it was Donny they were after. They were going to hurt him to get at me, me according to the note. The other families won’t go after my wife or kids but Donny’s not family to them.” he bowed his head. Going after Donny hurt David more than if they had gone after his wife’ Donny was more than family to David. 

“I trusted you to keep him safe. If he dies David you and I will have words.” He saw Bucky’s face and knew he blamed him for this on some level As Bucky was trying to calm down the Doctor came out as David nodded, he knew what Steve meant to Bucky; it was same as what Donny meant to him.

“If he lives through the night we have a fighting chance. But call a priest in any case.” Bucky looked to David he was about to lose his shit but took a deep breath. Not yet. He told himself. Not yet.

“Father Mayweather will come for Steve he always does.” Bucky looked to the Doctor. “Can we move him back home?”

“Not till morning. He is not stable. I need these things from the pharmacy and James; he is asking for you.” The doctor was wiping blood off his hands and turned to keep talking with David.

Bucky nodded and centered himself. As usual it will not help Steve for Bucky to lose his shit, he has seen Steve on deaths doorstep many times. Fussing over him will put Steve on the defensive. He took another breath and headed into the bedroom. He was not prepared for what he saw.

Steve was black and blue all over; his face it was nearly black. There was a gauze ring around his head that had blood still seeping though it. His breath was shallow at best. They tapped up his ribs but there was blood on the bandages there too. His right hand was wrapped and his left leg rested on a pillow. His left eye was open the other was swollen shut; tears were leaking out both.

“Bucky?” he asked more choked then words. 

“Yeah baby, I'm here. Fuck I’m so sorry.” He realized Steve was like this because he was here with Donny and David and not at home with him where he should have been. He took Steve’s good hand and kissed it over and over holding it close to his heart.

“I tried to fight back Buck…” He coughed up blood and took a gurgled breath. Bucky tried to hush him, but Steve was not having it. “They didn’t want nothing from me; just to beat the hell outta me. Why? What did I do? I aint been in any fights all week minded my own business. Donny said if I did not say anything I was safe!”

Bucky could not tell Steve why. He knew it was David’s business; Steve was just caught in the cross fire. It was the last words that struck him hard. Steve knew and had talked to Donny about it. 

“I don’t know honey, but I don’t think it was supposed to be you who got hurt. Relax ok. Just keep breathing for me. I know you’re mad as a hornet at me, but you owe me a talk remember, in two weeks. I'm lookin’ forward to it. I got so much to say so much to make up for. Mostly I love you and I'm sorry.” Steve tried to nod but it hurt, so much it made him whimper.

“It hurts to move Buck. I’m sorry too. I have been an” he coughed more, and the blood was leaking down his face. Bucky grabbed the hand towel and wiped him clean

“Nah Stevie don’t talk ok. We got lots to say soon, ‘m not mad at you. Ok? I'm not at all. I was an ass; I owed you better. I forgive you for anything you think you might have done, ok. I don’t think there is anything you did wrong but you’re a stubborn punk so. Just fight for us right now ok.” The door opened, and Doctor smith came in.

“James, I need to see you please. Steve needs to rest. You can come in and sit with him after.” Bucky nodded and looked back to his lover.

“You know the drill, he’s going to tell me what’s wrong with ya and i’ll come tell you. They called the priest just in case.” Steve looked up and grabbed at Bucky’s hand with his.

“I was coming home tomorrow. I was going to tell them tonight I did not need the time anymore. I want to come home.” He let go as more tears ran down his face. “Please take me home Bucky.”

“I will baby; I promise I will.” Bucky kissed the back of his hand and set it down and left the room.

Doctor Smith looked to the rag in Bucky’s hands “From him coughing?” He asked nodding to it.

“Yeah he was trying to talk, and it kept coming up.” Bucky fidgeted from foot to foot. “Just tell me doc what’s the news?”

“Broken nose, Deep cuts on the head will need stiches, ribs broken from the kicks, and torn ligaments in the left leg. Worse is he has a severe concussion and may have a punctured lung. I know at least 3 ribs are broken. His right wrist is broken as are 3 of the fingers on that hand. He may be bleeding internally. He was kicked in the stomach and chest as well as stomped on, I know because I had to wipe off the dirt form the wounds. James I'm not sure a healthy body could survive this. I’m sorry, I’m pretty sure Steve won’t live through the night.” Doc looks at him and pats his shoulder. “I will do what I can but prepare for the worst this time.”

“He has surprised us before.” Was all Bucky said and headed back to the bedroom to be with Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you loved this one I know it was long but we had a lot to get in. Please let me know what you are thinking. I love the feedback!!!  
> Comets and kudos keep me motivated!! Thank you all who have done so in the past.\\\


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Donny stayed in another one of the empty units on this floor allowing Bucky to stay with Steve in their bed through the night. Dr. Smith said he would be nearby if needed and took a room at the hotel across the street, that David paid for. Bucky refused to leave Steve’s side, after the Doctor left for the night; he just pulled in a kitchen chair and sat next to the bed holding his hand. Bucky kept his hand held tight and talked to him like he could hear him. People filtered in and out of the small apartment giving their regards and asking if they could help in any way. Steve was a punk, but he was well loved here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of the end for this work; one more chap and an epilogue. I am not a medical professional or a medical history expert, so I am sorry if it is not exactly right in those details. This is the aftermath of the Beating Steve took in last chap it was hard to write but I think it came out well. There is no gore but lots of feels.
> 
> I want to say thank you for an amazing beta reader Natfakrbeaut as always you patient and kind and I love you to bits!!

The night was long to say the least. The Doctor set Steve’s broken hand and rewrapped his ribs. Stitched the head wound and the gash on his leg that Bucky had not seen before. It was after the second set of stiches that Steve finally gave up the ship and slipped into unconsciousness. He had said he did not want to go to sleep that he wanted to see Bucky even though Bucky was standing right next to him. Bucky knew this was not a good sign, but the doctor said not to wake him till they were done the less pain the better on his heart.

David and Donny stayed in another one of the empty units on this floor allowing Bucky to stay with Steve in their bed through the night. Dr. Smith said he would be nearby if needed and took a room at the hotel across the street, that David paid for. Bucky refused to leave Steve’s side, after the Doctor left for the night; he just pulled in a kitchen chair and sat next to the bed holding his hand. Bucky kept his hand held tight and talked to him like he could hear him. People filtered in and out of the small apartment giving their regards and asking if they could help in any way. Steve was a punk, but he was well loved here. 

“James, we will find out who did this.” David said before leaving for the night he set his hand on Bucky’s shoulder for comfort. Bucky looked up at him and nodded. 

“Dr. Smith will be in and out thru the night. I gave him my key to check on Steve. He said no fever set in so that’s a good thing. Wake him if you can but…” he cut himself off; David wanted to tell Bucky not to get his hopes up. The doctor told David Steve was, most likely, not going to make it. He couldn’t let the words leave his throat. He wouldn’t give up on Donny so how could he tell Bucky to give up on his own lover.

“I know you will David. I know. Can I get some time with my guy alone for a bit?” Bucky did not let go of Steve’s good hand as David patted his shoulder and closed the door to the bedroom. 

“Steve…” Bucky gently shook the man. “Baby, I need you to wake up. Wake up and show me your pretty blues for me, Please I don’t want to be here without you. Just please Stevie for me. Open your eyes!” Steve shook his head a bit more lulling to each side then looked up at Bucky. His eyes were like marbles from the morphine, and he was not tracking Bucky’s face, but he was awake.

“Good baby, so good. I need to keep you awake for a bit, Dr. Smith said it was best to keep you up.”

 

“Too tired Buck, need to rest…” Steve slurred. “Just 5 more minutes please. Ma won’t care.” His eyes slip closed again. He was not aware of what was going on, confused. This was, also, not a good sign.  
“Fuck! Come on Steve, no closing them eyes, open ‘m up baby. Fight for me keep ‘m open.” He nudged him again. Steve blinked a few times then closed them again.

“I love you Buck… so tired. Just need…” and he was out again. Bucky tried again one more time.

“Steve please, I need you! Don’t go to sleep; just yet gimme an hour huh. I got you some stuff I want you to see it and we got lots to talk about. Remember. You promised me a talkin’ too and I have been waiting all week to get my ass chewed. I miss our fighting about me leavin’ my clothes on the floor or coming home smelling like a still. I got a plan to fix this for us. You gotta hear it, I'm sure you will hate it but that’s fine. Come on this ain’t the end of the line. Not yet.” Bucky sat in the chair in next to the bed, but Steve did not open his eyes.

Bucky wept quietly. “Please Steve don’t leave me.”

 

Two hours later Bucky had dosed off when there was a soft knock on the door. “James?” it was Dr. Smith. “I need to look at the dressing and check him over.” 

Bucky shifted to the other side of the bed and let the doctor work. “He won’t open his eyes.” Bucky said softly but the worry was palpable. His eyes were still red rimmed. “I talk to him and he opened them for a few seconds. He seemed confused but it’s not like before, not even a fever dream or utterance. Just silent now.”

Dr. Smith nodded as he took the bandages off Steve’s head wounds. This is the first time Bucky got to see the actual injury. He gasped, he had seen people cut and even one time a gunshot that grazed a guy. He had also been in his fair share of fights, and had to get a few stiches, but this injury was worse than he’s seen or had endured himself, it looked angry. There was not one clean line or even two it was a cross hatch of deep gashes and cuts with dark black bruises under the cuts.

“It looks worse than it is.” Dr. Smith said after looking at Bucky’s face “It was a bashing wound, so there are no clean edges like you would see if you got cut in a knife fight. Looks like they stomped on the same spot a few times or may have kicked him to cause the cross cuts.”

He went back to cleaning the wounds; iodine also made it darken Bucky noted. “It’s mostly skin deep though; I don’t see any bone fragment so that is good, so far. I needed to wait for the medication to bring down the swelling a bit, so I could see the full extent of the damage.” He talked as he worked, the cuts that were not stitched weren’t bleeding anymore either.

“It seems to be ok, and there looks to be no broken bone under it. Still may have some damage under the skull near his brain. The next few hours will matter. Keep trying to wake him, talk to him James. He needs something to fight for.” 

Bucky was shaking in anger, at the men who did this and himself for not being there. Someone kicked his Steve in the head; he had to take a few deep breaths. “I tried to wake him, but he won’t stay awake.”

“He has a head wound and immense other damage to his body James. I gave him a lot of morphine for the pain, its possible he is just sleeping. I will dial back the dose see if you can wake him before the next time I come in.” Bucky nodded and watched him work. Steve did not open his eyes as the Doctor moved around him cleaning the gash in his side above the rib that was broken.

“David is sending Donny to his country home upstate in a few weeks. His wife cleared it for Donny to use indefinitely.” The Doc says as he keeps working to get Steve cleaned up and the old dressing tossed away. “It could be good for Steve’s lungs there.”

“That’s good I would hate to have Donny hurt too. It’s not their life that did this, its ours. I’d send Steve if I thought he little shit would go Doc. You know him same as me, and he won’t run from a fight. Dumbass.” Bucky said glumly. 

“True, Steve can be pig headed, and no, it’s David’s life. I am aware of how u fit into this game. You are his employee not a member of the family or even an insider really.” Dr. Smith continued. “Not that I care one way or the other, but I agree having Donny away for a bit is safest for everyone.”

“Be honest Doc is he really going to make it? You keep telling me things look good, but your face is telling me you’re not even close to sure.” Looking Steve over. “I can take it, honest, but if this is his last time with me…” he paused He wasn’t going to think that way, but he had to know. “I need to tell him some things, make sure he knows.” Bucky bows his head. “Knows I love him more than anything.”

The doctor chuckle a bit. “James for being a bright and caring young man; you are dumb as the day is long sometimes. You should always tell people how you feel we are not ever promised tomorrow. Anything could happen from one heart beat to the next. Steve is in bad shape, but for all the times I told you he would not make it; you never thought to tell him?”

“I told him plenty but then I…” He rubbed his hands over his head. “I took us for granted, I let things go to far with dames I don’t even want just to keep it easy. He paid for it all the time had to see me with marks on my body he did not put there. He never said a word. I left him home alone more then he needed to be, and worse him worrying about us. I should have never let it be a question what we were, or where we stood. Worse I was jealous all the time, so I would always set him up with the worst people for double dates. I knew he wouldn’t look twice at the girl, but I wanted him to hate her. I even ran a guy or two off as well. Guys who was sniffing around all so I would not lose him. Seems petty of me huh?”]

“Yes.” Came a squeak from the bed and Bucky looked up. “You ‘ughnut, is pretty… petty” Steve had his one good eye open looking at Bucky with all the love, a beaten sack of meat, on more drugs then a body that small should be able to take, can look at a person. “And we ‘s….wee…ugg. Gonnea taaalk abot it, if I keeping m’ eye open, I loovses yooo s‘ucky.” His words all slurred together.

Dr. Smith and Bucky laughed and look at Steve who faded back in to sleep. “Well that answers that question, he is resting. So, let him rest. I’ll be back in a few hours to change the dressings again. Get some sleep James. He is going to need you more than before.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky laid down gently on the other side of the bed to get a few hours of shut eye. He heard the Doctor come in the room a few hours later, but did not hear him close the door. Bucky could hear people talking and smell coffee, so he took the logical path of getting up and heading out into the living room. He found Dr. Smith, David, and Donny talking around the small kitchen table.

“He was up and talking last night, so I think we are out of the woods. No concussion or lasting head trauma. I am going to keep him in bed for another few days. James!” Doctor Smith turned his head to the very groggy looking Bucky.

“He was talking?” James asks groggily scratching his head and heading into the small alcove where the table was. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You were out cold, I wanted you to get some sleep. He was up for ten or fifteen minutes. I gave him another dose of morphine and he was back out.” The doctor was stirring his coffee, sitting at the kitchen table. 

“He is breathing better today and there is no fever. I think we are on better ground. I'm not wanting him moved for a few more days and he won’t be able to walk without a cane or a crutch for a while longer. His broken hand will need 6 weeks minimum to heal, same as the ribs and leg. That’s assuming he gets proper nutrition.” Bucky poured a cup of coffee and sat down. There was the rub the boys did not always eat well with Steve not working it would make it a bit harder. They weren’t starving but rent was not cheap even where they were. “He is also going to need to be kept clean and dressing changed regularly.”

“You are both welcome to this place as long as you need, no rent or anything.” David said. “And don’t worry about work. It is taken care of, anything you both need.” David set his hand on Donny’s shoulder. He must have seen the worry on Bucky’s face. “If you’re not here or gotta go out Donny or one of the guys on the floor will look out for him. We take care of our own.” Bucky nodded and thanked him. Steve was a member of this community more so than he was even. Everyone knew and loved the little punk.

“I am going to head up state next month and will be gone for at least 3 months while we figure out who did this.” Donny said coldly. “Steve is welcome too come if you want, I will take care of him.”

Bucky looked coldly to Donny. “No offence here but I heard that before. Now he is laid up, in your bed, beat to a pulp. Where was your help for him then?” He knew he hit a nerve when Donny looked down to his cup. It was cruel, and Bucky knew it, but it had to come out. This was never supposed to touch Steve. David and Donny both knew that.

“I am sorry; for what its worth. I should have helped, done more.” Donny sounded like shit, his eyes were red and there were unshed tears. “He is my friend I should have stopped them or…”

“James!” David scolded as Donny’s tears flowed freely. “It’s not his fault, you know that. Its mine, at best, but no one here wanted to see Steve hurt! Hell, even the damn bag of dicks that did this just got the wrong fella. We are going to take care of this. You are family to us. Please don’t take this out on Donny.”

Donny put his hand up to stop David’s tirade. “He’s right sugar I didn’t do anything to help Steve. I heard them and was so afraid I froze; I couldn’t do anything. He called out for you, Bucky, and still I couldn’t move. I should have done more. I'm so sorry.”  
Bucky looks like Donny smacked him. “He called out for me when they were hittin’ him?” Steve Rogers has never cried for help in his god damn life! Bucky knew then that the beating must have been more sever then it looked on his body. 

“It’s not your fault Donny. I’m sorry, ‘m just worried about the little shit. Is all.” As quickly as he inflated and pissy at Donny he deflated and realized how bad his boy must have been hurt to call for anyone. “We will get his scrawn ass well again right Doc?”

“We will try James, we will try. Speaking of I'm going to check on him one more time then I must go and do my normal rounds uptown. I’ll be back tonight.” He stood up and headed to the bed room

“Thank you, guys, for this, I have no idea how much it costs to keep the Doc here overnight but I know there was no way I can afford it.” Bucky looked at his hands and back to David. He hated handouts for Steve he would take all the help he could get. He knew there was no scrap of pride he would not fold up and put away for his guy. “Any word on who did it?”

“No not yet but Tony is taking it personally, said the note was clear. It was an attack on his people. Steve may not be his strictly speaking, you either, but it was not meant for you or him. This was an attack meant to hurt me, and it has, so The Family is takin’ care of Doctor costs and any other damn thing I see fit that you or Stevie may need. Tony will get back to me on the guys who did it. I made it clear we wanted first go at ‘em.”

Bucky nodded, but then looked at David worried. “When he is better I may need to look for other work.” 

“Bucky, you know I don’t know if that will fly you know a lot of the coming and goings of the business I keep. I will see what I can do but… this may flip the other way. We may have to bring you into the folds.” David looked worried.

“I know David but if he tosses a fit, and I don’t want him upset after this. I can’t lose him again, not over this. I'm not family you said so; just see what can be done please. You know me I'm loyal even if I leave I won’t say anything. If it’s just a shift so it looks like I’m moving away.” He stopped short of asking David to help him lie to Steve, but David saw it anyhow and nodded.

“We will see what we can do, maybe a shift to the docks office. Let me work on it, for now take care of Steve.” Bucky knew David would try to distance him from things but that may be a moot point. Tony may see this as a debt taking care of Steve. He had to push that out of his mind. He would run with Steve if they had too.

Bucky nodded and finished his coffee then headed to the room with the Doctor and Steve.  
~~~~~~~  
Bucky opened the door to a familiar sight, the Doctor staring at a mulish Steve with a needle in his hand “Steven Grant Rogers you kissed your mother with that mouth!” The Doctor looked shocked, well mock shocked anyhow. “Its just a pain killer trust me your going to want it.”

“No, I don’t want to sleep anymore; I need…. Bucky!!” Steve caught sight of him over the old Doctors shoulder.

“James help an old man out here. I need him to take the medication it is easier on his heart if he is not in an elevated level of pain.” The doctor implored Bucky to help him he asked with a deep sigh and hunched shoulders.

“Steve what the hell? We talked about this a long time ago. No fighting the Doc on treatment.” Bucky slid onto the other side of the bed taking gently rubbing Steve’s leg above the cast.

“I’ll take it buck I just need a bit of time to talk to you first. Please doc just an hour. I promise I’ll take it.” Bucky raised an eyebrow doubtful of Steve’s words, but right now he was just so damn happy Steve was up and talking he just sighed.

“Doc is it like that last shot we had to give him, last year? Cause if it is leave it and I will give it too him after. You can check back after your other rounds.”

It was the Doctors turn to sigh, “The dose has to be exact James, too much could hurt him, but yes, it is like last year. Ill leave it here for now. Just don’t give him more then the 3-line ok?”

Bucky nodded and looked at Steve “You will not fight me on this Mister!” Steve nodded in agreement but quickly regretted that choice; like he had regretted so many choices he made this week.

“Ill be back about 4 to check in.” the doctor took his bag and left the room; the door clicked closed behind him. Bucky took the Doctors seat next to the bed.

“Ok Stevie what is so damn important it can’t wait till your better?” Bucky looked a bit miffed. He hated Steve in pain and that damn lug head was doing it to himself this time!

 

“I'm sorry Bucky. I have been a grade A ass hole to you. I could have died and not told you, how sorry I am. It was never… I never meant for it to be so hurtful to you. I just wanted space, and time to sort it out.” His eyes were watery “I thought it would be easy to do, I see you float from gl to girl like its nothing. No one getting hurt I thought it would be easy.” He looked at his lap.

“I thought you might get jealous and see how I felt, but then Danny and you and that…Anne…” Steve spat out her name almost then back tracked. “That girl sneaking out of your room kept playing on loop in my mind. I lost it, but I would never mean to hurt you. I need you to know, no matter what, I love you and only you, always you. Can you forgive me?”

“Baby we both did some shitty things here, ain’t nothing to forgive. I want you, and I love you just as much, you’re it for me too Stevie, that won’t change. Just because you were being a bit of an ass don’t mean I am just going to give up. Worst is the reason you were doin it. Let’s just talk this…” Bucky watched as Steve tried to move his broken hand to wipe his face; grimaced in pain and looked at the cast in shock. It was his drawing hand. 

He yanked his good hand out of Bucky's to wipe his face then realized how rude the action was. “Sorry.” Steve said softly trying to get control of his crying. He set his good hand back in Bucky’s and smiled guiltily.

“We can talk about this later ok. We are going to be ok I promise. I am not mad at you and I know you love me. So, no matter what, we will be ok, till the end of the line pal just like I told you.” Bucky was firm and reassuring rubbing his good hand and wiping the tears off his face. “Now how about that pain shot now huh?”

“How bad is it Buck?” He looks down over his body normally Bucky would just tell him he will be fine and not to fuss the details. This is not normally, and Bucky has to show Steve he is a partner not a burden He takes a deep breath.  
“Its pretty bad Steve, broken leg, hand and ribs, so far no sign of internal bleeding or concussion we assume. Cuts on your head, and body are nasty tears; going to leave a few scars. Nose busted again too, but doc says we seem to be out of the woods for now. Can’t move you for a while and the pain is going to get bad. So, let me?” he takes the filled syringe from the side table and Steve nods. Letting Bucky take care of him without a complaint or fight just like he promised. 

“Did you catch them? The guys who did it?” Steve asks as the medication starts to burn into his veins. “Are you going to catch them?”

“We will Stevie, we will…” Bucky soft rubs his cheek as the meds drag him into sleep “They are going to pay so dearly for this”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Three days later Steve was still laid up in Donny’s bed. The mortal danger had passed according to Dr. Smith, but he was still not safe to move. Donny had not yet headed upstate he said his conscience would not allow him to leave until Steve was more on the mend. He had taken to caring for Bucky and Steve; Making meals, doing wash and pushing Bucky to care for himself. 

David would not let Bucky come into work but insisted on paying anyhow. The doctor was showing Bucky how to rewrap the wound on Steve's stomach and how much medication to administer daily when David knocked on the door and peeked his head in. He raised his eyebrows and nodded toward him.

“James?” He normally only called him James for work, so Bucky knew it was not a social call. “As soon as your able I need you in the living room.” Steve was awake and shared a look with Bucky and nodded.

“Ok Doc I think between me and Steve we got it. ‘ll call ya if we need help alright.” Buck thanked the Doctor and leaned in and Kissed Steve, his split lip was healing and the eye that was still swollen shut but was getting a bit better. “I’ll be back as soon as I can Baby you stay put ok? No fussing at the Doc or Donny! Got it?”

“Yea Buck I got it.” Steve had become more docile in the last few days, not fighting Bucky on anything. Really it worried Bucky a bit more then he wanted to let on, but he had to push aside that worry for another day. Right now, he needed Steve to focus on getting better, and not why he stopped being an ass.  
Bucky stepped into the living room to see Tony, David and Danny. Bucky got tense, Danny was a part of this or a Family member, David would have warned him, when he was chasing Danny off to step carefully. He tensed up all the same, “What’s goin’ on David?” Bucky looked to him then to Tony ignoring Danny all together. 

“Danny.” David raised his eyebrow looked to Tony “Tell ‘m.”

Danny took a deep breath. “I came up here the night it happened looking for Steve.” He glanced at Bucky and saw the anger there “When I got to the apartment block, I was almost pushed down by three guys running from upstairs. They were wearing caps and had dark clothes on, but I knew one of them, Allen Morris. He is a friend from the bar. They were laughing about easy money for kicking the shit outta…” He glanced up at David, then to Tony, and then back to David, who just nodded “Outta a queer who had it coming for fucking the wrong wise guys.” 

“Is this true David?” Tony asked point blank “Is that man in the bed your lover?” 

“No, Tony he’s not, just in the wrong place is all.” David stopped short of saying Donny was his lover, and he was meant to be the target. Tony cocked his head and nodded a bit. Tony knew to stop asking, and no one was going to over share here. 

“I know it was Allen for a fact. It’s not just a maybe, he has a gimp ear on the left side has since we were kids. Can’t hear out of it.” Danny said. 

This time it was Bucky who spoke up. “Allen is a thug for the Irish, the note said we were pushing in on their backyard.” He was cold and factual about what he said to Tony; who looked him dead in the eye as he spoke.

“Do you want to take care of this James or do you want it done for you. I understand Steve is a ward in your care, after his Mother died?” Tony was now actively dancing around the issue but that was why he was a boss, he knew when not to ask and what not to ask.

“I'm all the family he has Sir that’s true, but I only work for David. I am going to defer to his best judgement. I want them to pay for hurting my friend, but the attack was not meant for him. This is David’s place.” Bucky knew it was not wise to owe Tony anything he would get Allen back himself later if need be. 

“I want them all Tony, I want to see them bleed and then I want to show James what happens to people who choose poorly and cross you.” It was a calculated set of words. Deferring all the power to the mobster and away from Bucky’s choice. David knew what Bucky wanted because it would have been what David himself had wanted if Donny had been hurt.

“I can arrange that.” was all Tony said he got up and headed for the door. “Thank you for your work that night James, I know if you had not been working, you would have been with your boy. I am taking this personally that yours was attacked. We all have things we must protect.” He left the small apartment. 

Danny was still sitting on the couch looking at David and Bucky. He did not want to follow Tony out, but it was clear on his face he wanted to be anywhere but here. David spoke first. “You got two minutes to get out of my apartment before…” His threat was cut short by Bucky.

“Thank you for telling us.” He looked at Danny as he spoke. “Me and Steve are staying together, and I am not going to ask why you were really coming here the night it happened. I don’t want to see you near him again.” He ground his teeth as he spit the last words you. “But thank you again for telling someone.”

Bucky got up and headed for the room as the Doctor was packing up his bag. “He won’t need another dose of pain medication till supper, and I want him to try eating. He looks better today.” He patted Bucky on the shoulder and walked out.

“Buck…I feel sick” Bucky grabbed the wash basin in time to have Steve lose the little bit he had been eating. The morphine was making him yack so it was mostly watered soup and bread.

“Sorry baby, the medication has complications. We know that it will get better.” He wiped steves face with a warm cloth and got him some cool water. 

“You gotta go to work tonight?” Steve asked taking a few sips.

“No Stevie I am all yours tonight, so I plan on torturing by reading you my science fiction novels! I know you love it when I read to you. Maybe if your up for it some radio later?”

“Mmmhmm” Steve licked his lips and grinned that stupid smirk that said he had other things on his mind. “Oh I’m up for it Honey!”

“Nope, you dumb ass, you are broken in more places then I can name.” Bucky chuckled “You’re going to need to hold that thought for a few weeks more.” He kissed steves hand and picked up the book from the night stand and started where he left off. 

 

Both of them nodded off in the warmth of the room, Steve to the sound of Bucky’s voice and the lure of the medication, and Bucky to the sound of Steve wheezing but breathing. It was a few hours before Bucky was jerked awake to the feeling of Steve convulsing under his head. He was having a fit, his whole body was shaking and twitching and a bloody froth coming form his mouth. He was not conscious.

“Fuck Steve! Steve come on Baby wake up. Its ok,” Bucky tried to wake him while hollering on the verge of panic. “Donny! Hurry up get in here!”

Donny came barreling into the room “Oh hell!” Bucky leaned Steve forward and Donny yanked the pillows out from under him then helped Bucky roll him onto his side. “What happened?” He asked as they moved to give Steve some room to thrash. 

 

“We fell asleep, I was reading. Shit where is the blood coming from?” Bucky saw the blood on the sheets, blanket and all over Steve’s face. Most of it was coming from the wound on his side. “He pulled the stiches damn it. Get the Doc will you. I’ll watch over him.” Donny looked a bit shell shocked. He was frozen again. Bucky snapped his fingers loudly to get his attention.

“Don’t freak out, it ain’t the first time Steves had a seizure. It’s not common but sometimes his system just gets outta whack and causes him to have a fit but the bleeding Donny I don’t know why he’s bleeding!” He told Donny as he stood there frozen. “I need the Doc to re stich him and make sure it’s not new issue. Hurry up!!”

The whole of the fit lasted no more than three minutes. Steve came too a bit lost and shoving Bucky away from him, and then whining he was sorry.

“Yea pal, relax and none of that! Come on its been almost a year since the last one its ok we know how to deal with this Dr. Smith is on the way. Its all this crap going on. Just lay still ok Doc will be here soon to fix the stiches and see why there was blood coming up.” He kept the wound compressed with one hand and cleaned the blood off Steve’s face with the other.

The Doctor was there within ten minutes. Steve’s wound had stopped pouring blood, but he was still coughing it up from time to time. “I can’t leave you alone at all can I?” The doctor joked at Steve. As he moved Bucky away to look at the cut.

“Sorry Dr. Smith.” Steve said. “Can’t keep a good guy down. I guess.” Steve relaxed as his stiches were reset and the doc listened to his lungs. “It hurts to breath.” the Doctor tapped his chest in a few places and Steve groaned. “That hurts!” He yelped.

“I’ll be right back ‘m going to get some water and clean bandages for him.” James stepped out of the room. It was too hard to hear the pain in his guys voice. He needed to not be in the doc’s way but he wanted to comfort Steve. 

He left and sat with Donny at the kitchen table. “How is he?” 

“Not sure, Dr. Smith will tell me once he is done. He is on pain and I can’t help him right now. Any news from David?”

“He has a meeting set up tonight with Tony. Said they tracked the guys down, and he will let us know. Calling here later.” Donny set another cup of coffee in front of Bucky “You need to sleep a bit you know. Even if its just on the sofa.” 

“I will after Steve nods off. Promise.” He drank the hot cup down as Dr. smith came back in the room.

“James?” He looked worried, well more worried then his normal doctor face. 

“How’s he doing?” Bucky asked.

The Doctor shook his head. “The fit is to be expected with his history, and you did well keeping him calm James. I am worried, he may have a punctured lung, and with his asthma we might have a larger issue.” He took off his glasses and cleaned them as he sat at the table and took a cup of coffee from Donny

“We need to keep him sitting and keep an eye on his breathing more than we would normally. I may need to drain the air off his lungs with a needle if he keeps coughing up blood. It will be painful but if he starts struggling to breath it’s our only choice. Someone will need to keep a watch for a few days. We will need to limit the fluids in his system too.” 

“Ok the three of us will take shifts Dr. Smith and we will come get you if we need to.” Bucky got up as Donny kept talking with the Doctor about care and signs of what to look for. He headed to the bedroom where Steve was sitting up.

“Hey baby talked to the Doc, said we need to watch your breathing for a few days. Keep you sitting up much as possible. Said your rib might have pop a lung.” Bucky said it all in a low tone like he was giving someone their death warrant. He realized and tried to smile, it was weak at best.

“Yea he told me. But jeeze Buck we watch my breathin’ all the damn time so its not new to us. Why do you look like someone killed a puppy?” he was doing their normal it’s no big deal, even when it is, thing. Bucky could give him that. “Just put on the radio and come lay down with me. You look like hell.”

Bucky smile and did as he was told. “You know I love your punk ass right!”

“I hope you love more than my ass but yea I know Buck. I love you too.”

 

It took a week for Tony to track down the crew that attacked Donovan’s place, but here they were sitting tied to chairs in front of David, Bucky and Tony in an old broken-down warehouse on the docs. 

“James, I told you I wanted you to see what it means to cross Tony, so you are only here to watch. I know it was your family that got hurt but watchin’ only.” David made a show of it for Tony knowing that there was a rage in Bucky over Steve’s fate that would not be stopped if let loose. He was protecting Bucky as much as keeping to his word to help him get out.

“Like I said I am just your employee so I’m keepin’ outta this.” James raised his hands and sat down next to Tony on small couch in the office they were in.

The first few hits were satisfying, the men yelled and cussed and spit at David as he worked them over. He cusses and spit at them it was with a rage Bucky had never quite seen in David. He knew what was going through his mind though, ‘it could have been Donny’. The feral grin in Bucky just egged him on. 

Then, one at a time, starting with the underlings, the crew was led away and never came back. The last man left was Allen, the one with the bum ear.

“I tried to stop ‘m from going to far. I warned ‘m we were only there to rough Donovan up. Hell, he’s Irish after all. We don’t like hurting one of our own.” He was shaking and pleading with David “Please! Don’t Kill me! Weren’t even Donny who got hurt, just some twerp friend. I got a family! Please Tony, I know things I could tell you, keep me safe and I…” Bucky saw red and turned to Tony fucking traitor.

“He was sent to push David to disobey you. Sir. I say see if being a rat will save him; when O’Brian finds out what he offered. You could use him like a tool; return the wayward rat, who offered us Irish secrets as he pleaded for his life.” 

Bucky knew what the Irish did to people who talked, and it was way worse then being shot. “Then the blood ain’t on our hands then either. No retaliation.” This was not Bucky’s place to advise Tony. He looked back at the man tied to the chair who was still pleading but now it was to just shoot him.

“Barnes, I like how you think, David tape him up and pin a note. Dump him on O’Brian’s door with a meet up time and place.” Tony looked to David and sneered at Bucky. It was pure revenge for both men.

“Sure, boss with pleasure.” David grabbed a large roll or tape and wrapped Allen up in a canvas tarp and tapes him in it. 

“It took balls to step in like that James. I could use someone like you, if you’re interested.” Bucky knew it was not a question.

“I...” He knew what this would mean, he would be family. Something Steve and he would need to talk about. “I need some time. I gotta look after Steve. I'm his...”

“I know what you are to him, don’t matter to me as long as it is not a public thing. Get a family like David’s got, then no one will know. You have two weeks to decide.” Tony stood up and left the room. Fuck Bucky wanted out not more in. 

 

David and Bucky went back to the apartments, heavy steps as they trotted the stairs. David went up to Donny’s new place right away and Bucky went in to check with Steve. He was sleeping restfully, so Bucky climbed into bed next to him and fell asleep.

The next few days past quickly and quietly the swelling went down and the worry about Steve’s lungs pasted in to a normal apprehension. A week in and the Doctor said he could be moved back to his own place but would need to be carried due to the broken leg. 

Steve was fit to be tied about the thought of being babied. He was not going to let anyone carry him anywhere! He was a grown ass man!

“Steve you’re being difficult. Its just down the stairs to a cab so we can get you home! Donny is going to want his place back ya know!” David and Donny had said no such thing and just quietly moved some of Donny’s personal stuff up to the next floor.

“I can walk goddamnit Bucky! I just need a crutch is all; I don’t need people seeing you carry me like a girl! Damn it Buck I may be a queer, but I don’t need to world seeing it!” He was red in the face. 

“OK how about this. We do it in the middle of the night so no one sees? Not that it will matter, with the cast on your arm and leg, people won’t look down on you for needing help. That late at night will keep people from seeing?” Bucky tried to find a middle ground. He knew his fella would have none of it 

“I need to try at least Buck please!” His pride had taken a beating with all the help he has needed. He can’t even walk to the bathroom, yet Bucky has needed to carry him all over the place inside where it was just the two of them.

“Fine if you can walk to the bathroom today then I will let you try to walk to the cab. If you can’t, then you let me take care of it! Agreed?”

“Agreed!” Steve smiled. Bucky was happy to see the fight back in his lover he was worried the beating had broken Steve; he should have known better.

 

“So, Stevie I need to talk with you about a few things. I gotta make a choice on here in the next few days and its going… it might affect you and us. ‘M done making choices without you when it comes to our life.”

“Ok what’s going on?” Steve looked at him smile still on his face.

“We are still Us now ya? You’re coming home to me? You want this between us?” Bucky was rambling, but he did that a bit when his nerves got him. “You said when you were hurt you wanted me and this and I don’t want to assume or anything just I need to be clear cause…”

“Yes, Bucky I love you and we are US. We got a few things we need to work out. Details about how to keep us safe from being arrested, or well killed for being queer. I want to work that out with you Baby. Its only you, for me, it was always you. I can see now your willing to make the effort to meet me in the middle so Ya we are good” Steve pulled Bucky’s sleeve until he had his hand tucked into Steve’s uninjured one.

“Thank god!” He surged up and Kissed Steve until they were both panting, and Steve was wiggling, then coughing, then kissing again.

They pulled apart “Is that all you needed to know cause I really need a hand here.” Bucky looked down and sure enough Steve was rock hard and shifting around in the blankets.

“Baby we can’t fuck yet but I will take care of you when we are done talkin’ ok?” 

“Fuck then talk fast Buck I need your mouth on me yesterday!” Steve was a pushy little shit.

“I was offered a place in the family. Tony asked me to work at David’s level.” Bucky spit out fast.

Steve stopped mid move and his face fell. Buck would be putting his life on the line, his freedom or worse Steve’s or any family they choose to have. He froze.

“I know pal it’s not opportune, but my other choice is Europe; enlisting. We ain’t at war yet but they are recruiting for another big one.” Bucky looked down at his hands entwined with Steve’s.

“The money would be great and its mostly books and inventory runs. I could keep it clear of our life. And it would keep the cops off us like David and Donny.” He knew Steve hated the family he saw them as bullies.

“You would have to marry like David did huh?” Steve's face fell. He was sure watching Bucky married would kill him out right.

“Yea I would eventually.” Bucky knew Steve hated that, but he would have to marry anyhow. “But babe you know that’s going to have to happen no matter what. I want to find a woman like David’s girl. Someone who won’t care about us, maybe someone who’s got a girl of her own. So, we wont need No kids or anything. Just a show.” He was pleading with Steve; it was written all over his face. Don’t leave me over this.

Steve remembered Donny saying what it was like to be where he was. “I don’t like it Bucky but its not my choice. They are bullies, and I want you to say no! Can’t you just keep doing what you do for David? Does it gotta change? I mean is it only two choices army or well that?”

“Yes, I can keep working with David, and he won’t care, I just wanted to talk about it.” Steve looked over Bucky’s face. He saw no deception there and knew it was really an open discussion. 

“I don’t want you doing it Buck, its not safe. Its one thing to stay on with David, but it’s a whole new ball of wax to go all in, and with…” He bit his lip he did not want to disrespect Bucky either. He knew it would always be Bucky’s job to bring in the money. He also knew Bucky would move the moon just to keep Steve safe and well cared for.

 

“We have a lot to talk about. Where we go from here and what the path ahead gives us is still up in the air, and I won’t stop you if you want to work for Tony but I ain’t keen on it.”

“Me either Stevie, I just know more money means better care for us both. A doc for your lungs and health whenever we need it. Maybe even a better place like this one for us both. I want the best in this world for you Steve. Working with Tony would give me the money to do that. Like it does for David.”

“I don’t need more Bucky, and blood don’t wash off like that.” Steve says “The money is not worth the price you pay for it. Can you tell me you ain’t going to have to hurt anyone?”

“No but mostly people who get hurt are people like the men who did this too you! They got what was coming to ‘em.” Bucky's eyes went cold. “I don’t feel bad about it.”

Steve wanted to look shocked, but he knew Bucky and is surprised Bucky did not go hunt them down sooner. “So, you found them?”

“Naw Danny passed them as he was coming up here that night. And we are going to talk about that too. But he knew one of them and told Tony and David. Tony and David saw to them getting their just desserts!” Steve looked shocked.

“I don’t want anything to do with Danny Buck he was a liar, had a wife and kids. They don’t even know he’s queer!” Steve looked angry still. “And the asshole stood me up that night! I would not have even been here, when this happened if he had been there that night! I came home with Donny, but I had planned to stay with Danny until the bar closed. Seein’ as he decided not to show, we called it an early night. David stayed to pay the tab and take care of some things, so it was just me and Donny home. Danny could have been here, or I would have stayed there. Either way this is his fault.”

Bucky felt the floor fall away. “Oh god.” His jealousy drove Danny to stand Steve up. Steve blamed Danny but it was Bucky’s fault. It was Bucky’s fault Steve was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me there is happy on the horizon I promise!! I know it seems like I hate Bucky but I Promise I don't I love him and know he is strong enough to see the sun at the other side and grow as a character. This is in no way a Bucky bad guy fiction I promise. As i said above one more chap. to go and then a short epilogue. 
> 
> I Love all feedback and comments so please comment and kudos. It helps inspire me, and push me to keep writting!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ok Bucky what the ever-living hell?” Steve had all he could take. “You look worse now than when I was first hurt and even worse than when Ma talked about moving us to queens! What the hell is going on!”  
>  Or   
> The talk that has to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the story there will be an epilogue that will be very NSFW :) I could not have done this even half as good without my beta most amazing person!!   
> Natfakrbeaut Thank you Love!

The next day Steve had about had it with Bucky moping around. He had tried and failed to get himself to the bathroom, so Bucky had agreed to wait until Steve could move around on his own to move them home. 

“Ok Bucky what the ever-living hell?” Steve had all he could take. “You look worse now than when I was first hurt and even worse than when Ma talked about moving us to queens! What the hell is going on!”

He got that they were living basically on the graces of David and Donny, who, had made no move to ask them to leave. It wore on Bucky a lot, even with Donny insisting they stay as long as they like. David offered them an apartment in the building rent free for a year as Steve got back up on his feet, but they both declined the generous offer. Neither man wanted to owe anyone anymore then they had to. 

“I am going to tell Tony I don’t want the job, but I do want to keep working for David.” This was not what had Bucky so down, but it would get Steve off his back. The no keeping secrets from his fella lasted all of a week. 

“Ok we talked about this Bucky as long as you’re ok with it and don’t gotta be pushing people around I'm ok with it.” Steve tilted his head a bit. “That’s not why you’re looking like I kicked your dog is it?”

He needed to tell Steve. He looked up in to Steve’s face. “No, it’s not…” He was solemn and worried, but he made a promise and now was make or break. If he told Steve, he could lose him, but at least he kept his word. “We said no more secrets remember?” Bucky sat close to Steve and took his hand. 

“Yea babe I recall that fight. But you ain’t been away from me long enough to have one, so what’s going on?” Steve looked where their hands were joined. He had that winkle in his forehead that looked worse with his banged-up face.

“The night Danny stood you up,” Steve stiffened and glared he did not want to talk about that night! “He was at the bar, or well he was headed to the bar when I stopped him.” He could not meet Steve’s eye Bucky was ashamed of his actions. He was jealous and worried Danny would take everything from him.

“Okay…” Steve’s voice was cold, like he knew what was coming but did not interrupt.

“I had warned him, honest I did, the first time you were together when we ran into you at the queer bar. Told him you were mine and we were just on a break. That he could have some fun but then scram. He didn’t listen.” Bucky hung his head lower. 

“So, I followed him around the neighborhood, and saw his family. He was not queer he was playing and it, and … I convinced myself I was helping you. You told me he and Oliver were meeting you all for drinks even told me where.” 

He made a quick glance up. Then continued. “I met him before he and Oli went into the bar, and I told him…” He can’t believe he is having to tell Steve this. “I told him that I knew he was a liar and hiding his family from you and you from them. If he wanted to keep that secret, both ways, he wouldn’t go near the bar. He would leave you alone and never come back.”

“How could you Buck?” Steve was not yelling. It was worse then that, there were quiet tears. “I told you I needed space. I trusted you enough to tell you where we were going to be. I just didn’t want you getting hurt.” He pulled his hand away with a hard jerk. Shock was beyond what he was feeling, and it showed all over his face even his body language changed. He closed Bucky out.

“I wanted to tell you before, but you were hurt, and we agreed to talk after you got better. Danny coming here and you saying you blamed him for your being hurt. I knew you had to know. Danny loves you Steve, he won’t ever leave his family for you, but he loves you. He did show up that night, and I drove him away. Its not his fault you’re here, its mine.” Bucky was also crying a bit.

“I could never have loved him Bucky, you are it for me. Thank you for telling me.” His tone calm and formal. “Please I need a bit of time can you leave me alone for a while. I just…” He sobbed “… please. Give me an hour?”

“Sure Stevie.” Bucky got up from the bed and left the room. He was at rock bottom in that moment. Everything he fought so hard to keep, everything he loved he was losing; to his own actions. 

He finally got why Steve hated bullies; now more than he ever had. They took away a person’s choice. Steve loved him after they fought after he lied and cheated, he told Bucky what he needed, the time to figure it out. 

Bucky’s jealousy pushed him to bully a man for no reason other than he was touching what Bucky thought was his. He had never felt like such shit in his life. He passed Donny on the way out.

“Hey how’s he doing today Bucky?” Donny was upbeat and headed into the apartment. Bucky’s face was pointed at the ground.

“Physically he’s ok, but he needs some space from me. I told him about my talk with Danny. How I basically told him to piss off Steve is mine, and so he was not here the night Steve got hurt. Steve told me he blamed Danny, but it was not him Donny it was me.”

Donny looked shocked but then finally put the night together. David’s odd want to put on a show for Steve, Donny not showing up, and Oli bad mouthing his friend to make it easier for Steve to swallow being stood up. He was going to have words with his guy now too. 

“David knew too huh?” Bucky nodded “He and I will be having some words then too.”

“I asked him to stall you guys so I could talk with Danny.” He was wrong this was the bottom, when there were no more secrets.

“You had no right James Barnes. He was coming home to you, you know, that right?! He told me long before the bar that night. He just needed to let off a bit more steam and get some experience under his belt. He wanted to be equals and not just some blushing virgin you took pity on and fucked between dames!”

“I know, and he is so much more than that, and I promised him, no more secrets. I planned to tell him once we were home. So his heart and lungs could handle the yelling he was going to be doin’ at me, but I can’t let him blame Danny for this. Danny was there.” The tear slid down his face. 

“James the only person to blame for this is the families, its their hatred that caused this. Just don’t be like them, don’t let it do that to you. It was good you told him, you loved him enough to know he would want to know the truth. He will be ok you both will. Just go for a walk, let me talk with him.”

Bucky nodded and headed out, he needed to tell Tony he can’t work for him and why.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The knock on the door was quiet. “Buck I said give me an hour! Fuck sakes.” But when Donny opened the door Steve blushed a bit. “Sorry Donny.”

“Its ok how are you holding up?” He came and fussed around the room checking Steve’s water glass, fluffing pillows all the not so fun things most nurses hate.

“Did you know it was a ploy? To delay me that night Donny?” Steve asked with a bitter bite that Donny was not expecting from his friend.

He sighed deeply and plopped down in the chair Bucky had just left. “No Steve I had no clue. I had been the one to start things, and I was honest when I said I knew it would get David going. However, I should have known something was up. He always said no when I offered to… well you know entertain that dark want in him, as he called it.”

“So, our guys duped us both? All so Bucky could tell some walking dick to fuck off?” Steve had softened his expression. But Donny looked scandalized. “I don’t know if I’m mad or turned on?!” He shook his head.

“What?!” Donny looked scandalized. “Where is, ‘I am mad as hornets’, Steve? The one who wants to yell and scream about the choice Bucky took from him? Turned on?”

“Come on Donavan, what choice? We talked before the bar I was always going back to Buck. It feels kinda nice that he was willing to chase Danny off, and I want so much to be mad at him for it. To tell him off for doing it. I just can’t seem to find the fight in me. Is that so wrong?”

“It’s kind of off putting, and different from where you would normally be, but maybe it’s because he told you? He kept his word about being honest with you?” Donny smiled at Steve.

“Do you need anything? Cause I am going to get some tea, but David got some Pop from the market do you want one?”

“Yes please!” Steve looked all to innocent in that moment, Donny knew better, but there were times Steve’s cherub face even got the better of him. 

They sat for the hour talking about the changes in how Steve felt, for Bucky, and about life in general. What he wanted from the life Steve knew would never be perfect for him.

“You need to talk to him. Tell him what you want out of this, and what you expect from him.” Donny said finally he set his tea cup down on the night stand and helped Steve up from the bed to the bathroom. He managed to get the walking part alone. The hour had passed so fast Steve did not even realize until he heard Bucky talk from the door.

“Look at you.” came the voice from the end of the hall as he left the restroom with his cane but unassisted. “I knew you could do it baby!” Bucky walked up to where Steve was standing. 

He flexed his hands at his side wanting nothing more then to scoop his baby up and kiss him all over. He didn’t, he was not sure where they stood at the moment. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked softly Steve nodded and leaned into him; Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders and kissed him softly with no fire, no passion.

“Fuck that!” Steve kissed him harder licking his lip asking for Bucky to open. They were in this together, and that timid shit had to go. Bucky relented and opened kissing back with all the heat he held for Steve, the love he had in Steve's embrace. He slid his hand up to the back of Steve’s neck and pulled him closer and kept kissing until Steve whined and had to pull away to breath.

“What got into you, not that I’m complaining but you seemed upset when I left.” Bucky asked not letting Steve go but looking a bit shell shocked.

“I'm still a bit upset but I can’t ask you to treat me like a man and act like a child. What’s done is done, and I get you were protecting your own…” he grimaced as he tried to settle down on his cane to stand up straight. It was too much. “Can we go sit down to talk standing is still pretty hard.” 

Steve grinned as Bucky picked him up and headed to the bedroom set him gently on the bed and beamed as Donny vacated the chair. 

“Me and David are headed out for the weekend. If you guys need anything David is leaving a care package in the living room.” He smiled as they nodded, and he left quietly.

“Ok so I know we agreed to wait but I need to hash some things out now; before we head back to our apartment.” Steve says as Bucky crawls into the other side of the bed and sits up to talk.

“I agree.” Buck nods and waits for Steve to talk.

“This started because you lied to me, you thought it was easier if I just don’t know what you’re going through to keep us safe from the law and prying eyes. The thing is you don’t have to lie to me about this we need to be on the same page.” Bucky kept nodding but did not say anything. 

“I asked for time to sort out how I feel about that. I have it sorted now. I know what I want, and what I want to expect from you and us.” He looked at Bucky’s face and he was a bit down. “I am queer all the way through. I don’t enjoy the double dates and I am not going to go on any more with you, but I understand that we need to keep the world thinking you aren’t queer to keep us safe. There are many men who live the bachelor life for a long time, just going form one woman to the next, many we know to be in the same boat we are in. I would like us to stay that way for a while, there may be a time when you have to marry, and we will cross that bridge when it comes. For now what I want is to stay how we are in dealing with the queer thing, you be your typical charmer and I will be the stick in the mud best friend.” He sits waiting for a response from Bucky.

“I am... I don’t want that. Steve, I don’t want anyone but you, not to date not to anything. I get it, but I am going to not date for a while, you being hurt will allow me to cut that out, and I have another solution to the married thing when it comes up. Hell, it would be a solution to the dating thing at all for both of us.”

Steve looked a bit cross eyed, he just told Bucky he was not going on anymore dates was he not listening already?!! “I can date or maybe even marry a girl who is queer like us. We could live in a place like this, where her and her girl and you and I have a place. It would be a sham and all but on paper we could both be legit. Just two couples sharing rent and costs!” Bucky was hopeful they knew lots of girls who would help them out, ones who knew and loved them both as brothers. “Just think about it ok we ain’t got to make a choice right now. We have plenty of time to talk it out.” 

“Ok we can wait on that talk. No matter how we deal with it; I need you to never lie to me again, and I want to understand why you ever thought you needed too in the beginning. I knew you were sleeping with girls before we got together, and you never lied to me then. Why did it change? Did I do something that made you feel you had to?” Bucky snorted at this, of course Steve would try to make this his fault. “Hey we are supposed to be honest here, Don’t snort at me!” 

Steve pinched Bucky’s hand and grinned. “I'm not being a martyr here I want to know if there was something I did or said so I don’t do it again. You’re not the only ass hole here. I have some changing to do too.”

Bucky gave it a long think, why did he start lying to Steve? It hit him hard the first time he slept with a girl the hurt in Steve’s eyes, when he came back to the apartment, the pain of him not being enough. It was not true, but Steve would not have believed him. There were things Steve did that made it easier to lie, but he had never asked him had he? No, they had an agreement and when Bucky broke it for whatever reason he took the easy way out.

“You did not do anything or ask me to lie.” He looked at his hands he had to tell him. “You made it hard to be honest, but the best path is not always the right one just like your Ma would say to us.” 

“The first time it happened I was so scared to lose you. I love you so much that I figured you would never need to know. I was not going to let it happen again, so it was just a dirty secret I could carry.” He was ringing his hands. “Then another time and another, but it was only a handful of times. What I told you last week the truth, it was never planned, and it was always that things went too far to stop without something looking wrong. Can’t chase skirts then turn one down when she offers to put out for you. I played it too fast and too loose, snagged the wrong girl.”

He looked up at Steve who was wearing his piss off face, he was taking this as Bucky blaming him. This is not what Bucky was doing. Bucky sighed he was doing right now, the making it hard to talk to him, but then his look softened it a bit. He knew Bucky was just doing as he asked, being open. “I made it hard to be honest? How?”

“Your sad eyes when I came home from dancing. When I smelled like a woman who had been in my lap I always thought you knew, the way you looked at me, like you could smell her on me. The smell of her perfume made you sick, not from the asthma, but you always gagged smelling it, as if to remind me what you thought of what I was doing. I could tell it was a mental thing. I hated hurting you and letting you down. So I lied to you, said she put it on at her door so to hide the smokes we shared, or to hide my smell from her family. Never told you it rubbed off her knees as they were hitched around my waist.”

“Bucky, we had an agreement for a reason, so those things would not, could not happen.” He looked at his lap but was resolved to finish what he was saying; this was not going to be easy. 

“There was no need to lie. I'm sorry if I made it harder and I will try going forward, but I cannot help how I feel about the lie we need to tell the world. Its not fair to you its not fair to me, hell it’s not fair to the girls. Like I said, when we started this, I know it’s got to be this way, but I trust you to make the right calls for us both, and I trust you won’t lie to me goin’ forward. You keep it in your pants huh if I am yours then you gotta be mine! If it must happen, and there is no way around it. Tell me, be honest with me. I know its not easy, but I don’t make it easier; you just gotta trust I love you enough to get it.”  
“Deal Stevie but won’t matter much I'm not going to be going out for a while.” He looked up to his guy “I can’t risk leaving you alone for a bit, after what happened, and what we did about it.”

Steve raised and eyebrow but recalled what Donny had said. Don’t ask its not safe. “Ok buck, so the last thing I want to talk about is equals, we gotta be equals. I don’t mind you being in control of me in the bedroom, but I can’t be your ‘boy’ any more. We need to have equal say in what we do as a couple. No surprises. I’ll keep looking for work but if I can’t find it I’ll pull my weight in the apartment.”

Bucky scoffed, Steve growled, and Bucky held his hands up in mock surrender. “You don’t weigh a plug nickel Steve not much to pull.” The smile was blinding, and Steve was glad to see it. 

“What if I want to take care of you huh? Ever think of that, I enjoy it! I want to take care of you same as anyone else I love. I want to make sure they are cared for its...” He stopped short he was going to say ‘it’s the man’s place, but then it hits him hard, does that make Steve less a man to be cared for?

Steve smiled back as it seemed to dawn on Bucky what Steve was harping at all along. “finish the sentence Buck. Go on… It’s…”

Bucky bit his lip like he knew if he did; Steve would clock him with his good hand. He did it anyway “I was going to say a man’s place to take care of his home.” 

“See what I mean. I am just as much man as you, sure I like dick, but so do you last I checked. You were howling about it last time I put it in you. So, if you want to say it’s a man’s thing then you gotta accept I am a man and want the same for you. I don’t care how we work it, as long as its equal. I can’t be like Donny a kept person. I love him, but he gives up too much of himself for it.”

“Ok Steve I did not see it that way, your right.” Bucky got close to Steve and latch on to his hand “So while you were fuming about me to Danny I went back to the apartment to check up on the place and talk with Tony.” Steve looked worried for a moment, could Bucky walk away now?

His voice was a murmur almost. “Tony understood, he did not like it, but he got it. I told him I was not the marrying type, and it would not look good on the family to have the rumor of a queer in its ranks. I told him that if it was a choice of me marrying to be part of it, then I would have to pass on his very kind and fruitful offer.”

“How did he take it?” Steve asked he could ready Bucky's face so clearly. It was not good.

“He said we were ok if I stayed in David’s employ. He would keep an eye out for us, like under his protection, but I am not allowed to leave David’s shop and if something happens to David, I will take over for him.” Bucky did not break eye contact.

“I'm sorry Steve, it was not what I wanted when I got into this, but its not a choice now. I agreed. So, unless we start drafting again I am stuck. Nothing is changing now but I have a very vested interest in making sure nothing happens to David.”

“Ok well its what we talked about before. So, no surprise there, will you have to marry if you take David’s place?”

“Yea baby I will.” was all Bucky said.

“Then we better start the wife shopping.” Steve laughed a bit that’s all he could do. Bucky joined in as well after a good 5 minutes of laughing Steve stopped wiped his eyes where the tears were leaking out and beam. “Ok ok, but seriously that is a long way off so let’s deal with here and now. I was able to get to the bathroom on my own so can we go home?”

“Sure, sweetheart we can go home.” Bucky kissed Steve hard and clung to him even harder; he was worried Steve would disappear in a puff of gun smoke and death if he let go. It felt nice when Steve gave as good as he got even though I hurt like hell. 

“Fuck. Damn it babe I gotta be able to walk to get us home! You are the worse tease in all the city; I swear to Christ!” He tugged at the front of his pants to loosen the erection that the kissing was causing and to prove a point.

“‘ll show you tease.” Steve reached out and gently ran his good hand up Bucky’s very hard cock though is pants just to hear his man whine. “Aw sugar looks like ‘m not the only one dealing with some slight swelling.” 

“Gah… cut it out!” Bucky pulled back they had a long road to go before Steve was able to be overly worked up. “Doc said 2 weeks for that can’t get you too overly stressed. Behave and ‘ll make it up to you!”

“Yea, Yea, make it up to me now… take me home, please!!” Bucky nodded, and Steve watched as Bucky gathered up the few things they had here and called a cab. Steve even let Bucky carry him the last flight down after he struggled to make it on his own. He realized trust and respect works both ways he would give his lover what he wanted from him maybe that’s all either of them could do.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the work and I want to hear from you please feed back helps people improve I take that to heart. Comments Kudos are always amazing!   
> Thank you for all who have already given feedback and come along on this ride!

**Author's Note:**

> This is different from my normal work but it ate at me so I put it down on paper.
> 
> Please tell me what you think Comments and Kudos and I will love you forever for them!


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